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Why is physical education important? Should physical education calsses be required or optional?

Why is physical education important? Should physical education calsses be required or optional? PX5Wg
In today’s World, education is the most important issue in children’s development and this process affects every aspect of their lives. They spent their grate amount of time at the school, their physical situation is significant as well as their academic lives. Especially, they are in their adolescence period, physical education has a crucial impact on their lives in terms of their health and social lives. Initially, nowadays every people do not need to spent too much physical effort to handle their daily routines and the reason of this situation is not only related with the developing technology but also the affect of the changing World. Particularly, reaching everything without any effort, can affect the one’s mostly who are in their adolescence period. Thus, physical education can be a mile stone for their health. To give an example, plenty of students prefer to eat fast food on their lunch times and this causes some unhealthy problems such as obesity. Thanks to physical education, they can spent some effort on their daily lives. Communication is a great stepping stone for gaining self-esteem. Although, some students are intravert according to their environment, they can accomplish their tasks by attending physical educations. For instance, physical education lectures consist of o group of student who can make different exercises. Moreover, it can be a chance get together with their friends and know each other more better. Thanks to physical education students can easily increase their friendship which occures well-known affect on their social lives. Education system differs for every country according to their religious, wealthyness and so on. However, scheduling physical education lectures has a significant impact on students lives in terms of their health and their self-confidence. Therefore, classes about physical education should be required for every level of student. On the other hand, spare times and useful lectures should be given by the authorites in terms of mainting a both healthy and valuable life. In conclusion, students are the most important generations for our future. Therefore, authorities should set some beneficial routines on their daily lives at school such as pyhsical education classes to prevent to growth an unhealthy people and also protect their social lives in the future.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s World,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue in children’s development and this process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
every aspect of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. They spent their grate amount of time at the school, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
situation is significant
as well
as their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Especially
, they are in their adolescence period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a crucial impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in terms of their health and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Initially
, nowadays every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not need to spent too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
effort to handle their daily routines and the reason of this situation is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
related with the developing technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
of the changing World.
Particularly
, reaching everything without any effort, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the one’s
mostly
who are in their adolescence period.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be a mile stone for their health. To give an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food on their lunch times and this causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unhealthy problems such as obesity. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effort on their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Communication is a great stepping stone for gaining self-esteem. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
intravert
according to their environment, they can accomplish their tasks by attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lectures consist of o group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
exercises.
Moreover
, it can be a chance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together with their friends and know each other
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
. Thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
increase their friendship which
Possible spelling mistake found.
occures
well-known
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Education system differs for every country according to their religious,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wealthyness
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, scheduling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lectures has a significant impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in terms of their health and their self-confidence.
Therefore
, classes about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be required
for every level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
On the other hand
, spare times and useful lectures should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
authorites
in terms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mainting
a both healthy and valuable life.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
generations for our future.
Therefore
, authorities should set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial routines on their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
at school such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
pyhsical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
to growth an unhealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
also
protect their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in the future.
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IELTS essay Why is physical education important? Should physical education calsses be required or optional?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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