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Why is it so important to help other people in need?

Why is it so important to help other people in need? 8JE9r
Currently, individuals oversee and ignore bad situations when other need assistance as they think that these stories are not their business. However, I would say that assisting has a number of benefits to yourself because of the following reasons. First and foremost, If you assist each others who are struggling with something then when you need assistance or find a way to address your problem, you will receive it as same as you give. For example, when your neighbor has nothing regard some ingredients to bring them for cooking and ask you to help, then you bring these ingredients to your neighbor. After all, neighbor will pay something back to you which is not ingredients, but it probably is some stuffs or thankfulness. Therefore, supporting individuals is not only doing this thing then end but also can receive some good speeches back to you. Moreover, assistance enable us to build stronger relationships between you and someone than before. Since doing this thing has indicated for sense of appreciation to receiver, it will cause both of you and someone who are familiar or unfamiliar got positive energy and feeling. In addition, based on my experience, a lot of family have fallen in love due to this situation, hence this romance situation lead to marriage. To sum up, due to the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that helping each others when they are in requiring you is vital, and this enhance your moral to be a good person in the future.
Currently
, individuals oversee and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations when other need assistance as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these stories are not their business.
However
, I would say that assisting has a number of benefits to yourself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the following reasons.

First
and foremost, If you assist each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
who are struggling with something then when you need assistance or find a way to address your problem, you will receive it as same as you give.
For example
, when your neighbor has nothing regard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ingredients to bring them for cooking and ask you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, then you bring these ingredients to your neighbor.
After all
, neighbor will pay something back to you which is not ingredients,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
probably
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stuffs or thankfulness.
Therefore
, supporting individuals is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doing this thing then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
speeches back to you.

Moreover
, assistance enable us to build stronger relationships between you and someone than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Since doing this thing has indicated for sense of appreciation to receiver, it will cause both of you and someone who are familiar or unfamiliar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy and feeling.
In addition
, based on my experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
family have fallen in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
due to this situation,
hence
this romance situation lead to marriage.

To sum up, due to the reasons mentioned above, I
strongly
believe that helping each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
when they are in requiring you is vital, and
The verb 'enhance' is plural. Did you mean: "this enhances"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this enhance
your moral to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person in the future.

IELTS essay Why is it so important to help other people in need?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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