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Why is it important to have comfortable places to work?

Why is it important to have comfortable places to work? bEyBg
There are a lot of things that help in making work easier at a workplace. This means some attributes Such as be organized, good lighting, effective communication between employees and employers, and capacity of personalizing space are optimize productivity and maximize efficiency. Imagine an employee who wants their employers to boost creativity, they have to meet their demand otherwise it turns to a bad working atmosphere. Therefore I believe a comfortable work environment based on an employer’s interest can improve workflow and productivity in a work environment.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making work easier at a workplace. This means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
attributes Such as
be organized
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lighting, effective communication between employees and employers, and capacity of personalizing space are optimize productivity and maximize efficiency. Imagine an employee who wants their employers to boost creativity, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demand
otherwise
it turns to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
working atmosphere.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I believe a comfortable work environment based on an employer’s interest can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
workflow and productivity in a work environment.
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IELTS essay Why is it important to have comfortable places to work?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
87 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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