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Living alone has many disadvantages

Living alone has many disadvantages 3xJDn
These days many youth tend to live alone or with thier friends. So, some people think that it is good for them to live alone to have sence of responsibelity, while others believe that it is harmful and it causes many problems to the whole community. This essay will discus both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, some people think that living alone or with freinds affects you negatively because if you are living with your freinds you won't be able to make right decisions in your life, there are bad people in our lifes and they make a huge impact on ourselves in making decisions. Furthermore many people who are living alone have depression, because they don't have any supporter in their lifes. That is why some people think living alone causes problems. On the other hand, many people believe that living alone is much better than living with the family, because it gives you the ability to be free and no one can stop you of doing anything you want. To illustrate, my uncle has been living lonely for about 3 years, he is always happy because no one can tell him to do something against his well. Hence the belief that living alone is always the best. In addition, living alone makes you a responsible person, so you are able to take the responsibelity of any action you have taken in your life. For example, when you are alone you make better actions in your life without any distractions from your family. This clearly proves the advantages of living alone. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that living alone is better than living with your family.
These days
Possible agreement error. The noun youth seems to be countable; consider using: "many youths".
many youth
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
or with
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
to have
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibelity
, while others believe that it is harmful and it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems to the whole community. This essay will
Did you mean the verb "discuss" (= talk about something)?
discus
both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
or with
Possible spelling mistake found.
freinds
affects you
negatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with your
Possible spelling mistake found.
freinds
you won't be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
right decisions in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lifes and
they
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make
a huge impact on ourselves in making decisions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
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many
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people
who are
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living
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alone
have depression,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't have any supporter in their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
causes problems.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is much better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with the family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives you the ability to be free and no one can
The usual collocation for "stop you" is "from" not "of". Did you mean "stop you from doing"?
stop you of doing
anything you want. To illustrate, my uncle has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
lonely for about 3 years, he is always happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
him to do something against his well.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is always the best.

In addition
,
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living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you a responsible person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you are able to take the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibelity
of any action you have taken in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
better actions in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without any distractions from your family. This
clearly
proves the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point views, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with your family.
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IELTS essay Living alone has many disadvantages

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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