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Why is it important to have a hobby?

Why is it important to have a hobby? yx58D
Why do we need such a thing as a hobby? To keep us in shape? So we would be able to practice what we love? And so on. Yeah, we often underrate hobbies and not because we ignore them. No. We are used to the thinking that we are supposed to work, build a family, and indulge our life to better future of our nation, children and companies. In my experience, having an avocation is what lets you stay sane in this laborious world filled with so much we have not been imagining we would be doing when we become adults. Taking time for yourself is what makes a hobby that important. For instance, training, doing crafts, learning new things is what brings peace and assure good health to our body and mind. A popular belief is that one person should have 5 hobbies: one to keep you in shape, one to develop money, one to boost your creative and rational thinking, one to evolve your mindset, one to increase love and happiness in your life. If you manage to reach this harmony in your daily routine, there is no doubt that you accomplish a significant way of living. On the contrary, too many hobbies or wrongly choosing them can lead to a culling effect on our health and even on our relationships. Overwhelmed, burn off, unable to control an assignment are the consequences of underestimating the importance of hobbies and the chain reaction they establish in us. conclusion: Taking everything into consideration, setting up our free time is of major importance for our mind and body. By and large, living a life not always offering enjoyable activities can be compensated with practicing hobbies that we love. Moreover, if it offers rest to our mind and improvement to our body and way of concluding, then it is of critical importance to keep on with it.
Why do we need such a thing as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
? To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us in shape?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we would be able to practice what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
? And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Yeah, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
underrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them. No. We are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the thinking that we
are supposed
to work, build a family, and indulge our life to better future of our nation, children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In my experience, having an avocation is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
you stay sane in this laborious world filled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much we have not
The verb 'imagining' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
been imagining
we would be doing when we become adults. Taking time for yourself is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For instance
, training, doing crafts, learning new things is what brings peace and assure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health to our body and mind.

A popular belief is that one person should have 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
: one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you in shape, one to develop money, one to boost your creative and rational thinking, one to evolve your mindset, one to increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and happiness in your life. If you manage to reach this harmony in your daily routine, there is no doubt that you accomplish a significant way of living.

On the contrary
, too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
or
wrongly
choosing them can lead to a culling effect on our health and even on our relationships. Overwhelmed, burn off, unable to control an assignment are the consequences of underestimating the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and the chain reaction they establish in us.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
conclusion
:

Taking everything into consideration, setting up our free time is of major importance for our mind and body. By and large, living a life not always offering enjoyable activities can
be compensated
with practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
Moreover
, if it offers rest to our mind and improvement to our body and way of concluding, then it is of critical importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on with it.
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IELTS essay Why is it important to have a hobby?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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