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why is doing sport vital for people?

why is doing sport vital for people? n1Ypo
Sport is very important to people. When you are doing sport your body getting stronger. Because your muscules are working. Sport not only important to our body but also it is vital to brain. When you out your brain trains too. Your memory gets stronger. Finally sport is good to heart diseases. People who are doing sport regularly they have a minimum percentage of having heart diseases. Especially who does a swimming, ride a bicycle, walks everyday as, who makes sport a routine of a day gets away from all diseases. As a result we should try to do sport every day for being healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
you are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
your body getting stronger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
muscules
are working.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to our body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is vital to brain.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
you out your brain trains too. Your memory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
stronger.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to heart diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
regularly
they have a minimum percentage of having heart diseases.
Especially
who does a swimming, ride a bicycle, walks
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
as, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
a routine of a day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
away from all diseases.
As a result
we should try to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
every day for being healthy.

IELTS essay why is doing sport vital for people?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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