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some people may think the wealth have a prosperous life, meanwhile others stand by the opinion that only those who contribute like teachers or scientists are successful

some people may think the wealth have a prosperous life, meanwhile others stand by the opinion that only those who contribute like teachers or scientists are successful B7125
Nowadays, there are many definitions of success; some people may think the wealth have a prosperous life, meanwhile others stand by the opinion that only those who contribute like teachers or scientists are successful. In my point of view, both of those people are successful. Firstly, success is the satisfaction of oneself when achieving something he or she find tremendous in career or life, because it brings about happiness. Provided that having much money to ensure the cost of living and purchase luxuries, people are pleased with themselves and feel delightful, which means success to them. Owing to making a lot of money, they can lead a prosperous career and do not have to worry about anything. For some people, nevertheless, satisfaction comes from contributing to the society. For instance, the scientists or doctors are making attempts to help the community. As the poor or the people with disabilities are supported with better life conditions, intellectuals feel great because of having made the world a better place than before. Moreover, educators teaches students to be well-behaved, which contributes to their bright future. Therefore, teachers satisfy with what they have done, as those pupils may become great people in the society. This creates a circle of life that never ends, supposing everyone kept devoting themselves to the serving the community. In conclusion, I think the rich or the contributors are both successful. Success of each person based on how he or she defines it, but anyway, it is always the pleasure and satisfaction of achieving in life and career.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
definitions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the wealth have a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, meanwhile others stand by the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those who contribute like teachers or scientists are successful. In my point of view, both of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are successful.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is the satisfaction of oneself when achieving something he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "finds", "found".
find
tremendous in career or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings about happiness. Provided that having much money to ensure the cost of living and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
luxuries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
with themselves and feel delightful, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
to them. Owing to making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, they can lead a prosperous career and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about anything.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
nevertheless
, satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from contributing to the society.
For instance
, the scientists or doctors are making attempts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community. As the poor or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with disabilities
are supported
with better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
conditions, intellectuals feel great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having made the world a better place than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, educators teaches students to be well-behaved, which contributes to their bright future.
Therefore
, teachers satisfy with what they have done, as those pupils may become great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society. This creates a circle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that never ends, supposing everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
devoting themselves to the serving the community.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the rich or the contributors are both successful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
of each person based on how he or she defines it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
anyway, it is always the pleasure and satisfaction of achieving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and career.
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IELTS essay some people may think the wealth have a prosperous life, meanwhile others stand by the opinion that only those who contribute like teachers or scientists are successful

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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