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WHY I DON’T LIKE TELEMARKETERS CALLING MY HOME

WHY I DON’T LIKE TELEMARKETERS CALLING MY HOME NV0ld
I do not encourage tele-marketing calls when I am at home. The main reasons behind this are privacy concerns about financial information, disturbance caused during the valuable quality time and finally, in most of the cases, tele marketing companies call people who do not have any intention to buy the products they offer. To begin with, the primary cause why I do not entertain promotional calls when I am at home is that, I do not find myself comfortable with being asked about information on my financial status or other details like credit card info or bank statements. During these calls it is a common practice for the marketing professionals to enquire the financially sensitive details and there are various money matters which I do not prefer to discuss or disclose in front of my family. Moreover, I believe the quality time spend with my family help me to reinforce the ties between us and if the marketing companies calls me during the time I spend with my family, it might affect our precious moments together. It have been discovered that the lack of quality time is the root cause for most of the family problems and hence, I do not want to jeopardize my private time for any of the unwanted promotion calls. Finally, it is often seen that during most of the times, the marketing companies select people randomly. When marketers call a person who do not wish to buy anything they sell, both the companies’ and the person’s time is getting wasted. Instead, if the marketing people had selected their potential targets precisely, then there would not have an issue of wastage of time of both the parties. To conclude, like many others, I do not prefer to get called by advertising people. Even though they are doing their job, unless I am provided with specific and accurate information that I have been looking for, I will never entertain such calls during the time I spend with family. Also I do not like to tamper the quality time and finally, I do not prefer to reveal the confidential data about my finances in front of my family members.
I do not encourage
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
when I am at home. The main reasons behind this are privacy concerns about financial information, disturbance caused during the valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
finally
, in most of the cases,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have any intention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products they offer.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the primary cause why I do not entertain promotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
when I am at home is that, I do not find myself comfortable with
being asked
about information on my financial status or other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
like credit card info or bank statements. During these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
it is a common practice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
professionals to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
the
financially
sensitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and there are various money matters which I do not prefer to discuss or disclose in front of my family.

Moreover
, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to reinforce the ties between us and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
me during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I spend with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it might affect our precious moments together. It
Did you mean "has"?
have
been discovered
that the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the root cause for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
problems and
hence
, I do not want to jeopardize my private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for any of the unwanted promotion calls.

Finally
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that during most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
randomly
. When marketers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
a person who do not wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they sell, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
and the person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is getting wasted.
Instead
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had selected their potential targets
precisely
, then there would not have an issue of wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of both the parties.

To conclude
, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, I do not prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
called by advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Even though
they are doing their job, unless I
am provided
with specific and accurate information that I have been looking for, I will never entertain such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I spend with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I do not like to tamper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
finally
, I do not prefer to reveal the confidential data about my finances in front of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
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IELTS essay WHY I DON’T LIKE TELEMARKETERS CALLING MY HOME

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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