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Some people argue that government should make laws rgarding people's nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedon of personal choice and responsibility. Disucss both views and give you opinion

Some people argue that government should make laws rgarding people's nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedon of personal choice and responsibility. Disucss both views and give you opinion MoKwa
The question of whether food choices should be regulated by law is debatable. There is a strong belief among a section of the population that the government should regulate the food products we consume so as to improve overall public health. In contrast to this, others argue that is a matter of personal choice and the government should not let people decide what food product they want to consume. This essay will discuss why it's essential for governments to strictly enforce good dietary practices in order to have a healthy population. A growing number of citizens are getting sick because of the intake of bad food products that are available in supermarkets. There is a number of food products that are high in sugar and fat contents. Some of them even claim to have a good effect on health. Many of the gullible citizens buy those products by falling to their advertisements. People become obese by consuming these superfoods and bad health drinks. This takes a toll on health care spending which otherwise could have been utilized for more constructive needs. Therefore government must bring laws to stop these bad products from getting sold and hence consumed. There are others who believe that the intake of food products is a personal choice. They believe that state administration interfering in this is an example of curtailing their right to choose. They feel it is the citizen's responsibility to choose food products and drinks as they have the basic intellect to decide for themselves. In addition, they tend to believe that even if Government makes such a law, people would not abide by it as enforcement would be a herculean task. In conclusion, this essay discussed the positives of enforcing law on dietary practices to improve the overall health of the citizens. I strongly believe that health and health expenditure is a state subject and the government must take steps to control risky food articles.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices should
be regulated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
is debatable.

There is a strong belief among a section of the population that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should regulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
we consume
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
overall
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In contrast
to this, others argue
that is
a matter of personal choice and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
they want to consume. This essay will discuss why it's essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
strictly
enforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
dietary practices in order to have a healthy population.

A growing number of citizens are getting sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the intake of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad


food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are available in supermarkets. There is a number of

food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are high in sugar and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
contents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them even claim

to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the gullible citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those products

by falling to their advertisements.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
become obese by consuming these

superfoods and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
drinks. This takes a toll on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care spending which
otherwise
could have
been utilized
for more constructive needs.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from getting sold and
hence
consumed.

There are others who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is a personal choice. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that state administration interfering in this is an example of curtailing their right to choose. They feel it is the citizen's responsibility to choose

food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and drinks as they have the basic intellect to decide for themselves.
In addition
, they tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that even if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not abide by it as enforcement would be a
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Herculean".
herculean
task.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the positives of enforcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
on dietary practices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the citizens. I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
expenditure is a state subject and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take steps to control risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
articles.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that government should make laws rgarding people's nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedon of personal choice and responsibility. Disucss both views and give you opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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