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Media pay too much attention to the l

Media pay too much attention to the l OgGR7
Famous people have attracted more attention from the media rather than usual people so it would not spend much time for normal people. I believe a person who becomes well-known has a talent that is why they have the right to be covered by the media. Not media pay attention to famed people even people tent to them. I think the reason may be is that they are likable or people themselves are interested in understanding about them. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo is a symbol of secesful person and media show him a lot that people learn them. On the other hand, cammon people get ignored and nobody knows about them. For instance if media introduce them with their skills they would be discovered and this leads to motivate usual people. Therefore media is responsible for normal people to pay more attention to them. In conclusion, famous or popular person have tried to become known and they have invested in their job, also have spent their time and have practiced for singing or acting or becoming a professional footballer as well. So, they must see the reward and the result of their skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have attracted more attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rather
than usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would not spend much time for normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I believe a person who becomes well-known has a talent
that is
why they have the right to
be covered
by the media.

Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
pay attention to famed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tent to them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the reason may be is that they are likable or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves
are interested
in understanding about them.
For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo is a symbol of
Possible spelling mistake found.
secesful
person and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
him a lot that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn them.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cammon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
and nobody knows about them.
For instance
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
introduce them with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they would
be discovered
and this leads to motivate usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is responsible for normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay more attention to them.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
or popular person have tried to become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
known and
they have invested in their job,
also
have spent their time and have practiced for singing or acting or becoming a professional footballer
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the reward and the result of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Media pay too much attention to the l

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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