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Why does society underestimate art's value?

Why does society underestimate art's value? 95Bgp
In this essay I will write about how art has been given an underrated value in today’s society. Nowadays, the world has a lack of sensibility to a lot of things, one of them is art, since we’re babies, we have been taught that, if someone wants to be successful or lucky, you have to study a very difficult career, or being super intelligent in subjects such as maths, physics, chemistry, business, etc, but no one teaches us that art is very important and it has a really important role in all societies. I thing one of the causes of this issue is that, people don’t care about art, they are just interested in superficial stuff, and they don’t care about learning from this amazing topic, but they are really important because things like art, help people to have a lot of sensibility and perceive life and the world from a new perspective. As someone that loves art, I truly think that, if people were interested in teaching art to everybody, especially young generations, the world would be totally different, because that sensibility would be living in everyone’s hearts. Also, it is very important that society starts educating people about fine art or art in general, because that also helps to support new artists. Art is not as boring or as difficult as many people think, it’s not at all! , art is very fun and interesting. It describes how people’s minds work and how they express themselves, you can see life from someone else's perspective. Learning about art is not just only theory, is more than that, artists create, so people wouldn’t find it as boring as they thought it was, they would be immersed in a world of music, painting, sculpture, poetry.
In this essay I will write about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an underrated value in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society.

Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has a lack of sensibility to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things, one of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, since we’re babies, we have
been taught
that, if someone wants to be successful or lucky, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult career, or being super intelligent in subjects such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, physics, chemistry, business, etc,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one teaches us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and it has a
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in all societies.

I
Did you mean the verb "think"?
thing
one of the causes of this issue is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
interested in superficial stuff, and they don’t care about learning from this amazing topic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
things like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sensibility and perceive life and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
from a new perspective. As someone that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, I
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were interested
in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to everybody,
especially
young generations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
would be
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that sensibility would be living in everyone’s hearts.

Also
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or
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art
in general
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to support new artists.

Art is not as boring or as difficult as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it’s not at all!
Loose punctuation mark.
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fun and interesting. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds work and how they express themselves, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
life from someone else's perspective. Learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theory, is more than that, artists create,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wouldn’t find it as boring as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was, they would
be immersed
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
of music, painting, sculpture, poetry.
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IELTS essay Why does society underestimate art's value?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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