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Why do we need to wear clothes differently in different places?

Why do we need to wear clothes differently in different places? m58o1
Selection of clothes and wearing which one of clothes is a very common concern in everywhere. This problem is quite common between women especially iranian women as they do not like to wear one cloth in any places. They like always being different. I think this statement that say we should wear clothes differently in different places, is completely correct and we must to respect to it. It is very easy to explain it with an example. Suppose that we want to go to the party, if we wear a formal clothes, we creat a restriction for ourselves. At the party, we like to be feel free and do everything to have fun and pleased ourselves. When we wear a formal clothes we cannot be free. In contrary, at school or at work we must be calm and the ambient should be quiet. Also, we wear a uniform and tell to our mind we are in a formal place. Thus, we must choose clothes based on our target place. The place can effect our mind and then we can select appropriate clothes. The clothes that we are wearing can show our respect to the places we want to go.
Selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and wearing which one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common concern in everywhere. This problem is quite common between women
especially
Possible spelling mistake found.
iranian
women as they do not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. They like always being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this statement that say we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
differently
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, is completely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
correct and
we
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
respect to it. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it with an example. Suppose that we want to go to the party, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, we
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
a restriction for ourselves. At the party, we like to be feel free and do everything to have fun and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
ourselves.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
we cannot be free. In contrary, at school or at work we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be calm and the ambient should be quiet.
Also
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
a uniform and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
to our mind we are in a formal place.

Thus
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
based on our target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
can effect our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
then we can select appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
that we are wearing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our respect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
we want to go.

IELTS essay Why do we need to wear clothes differently in different places?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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