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why do students prefer to do part time jobs during thier studies ?do yo think it is postive or negative trend ?

why do students prefer to do part time jobs during thier studies? do yo think it is postive or negative trend? nNGee
It is true fact in today's scenerio that majority of learners are doing temporary jobs side by side thier studies oweing to get experience and learn cognitive skills. I largerly beleive that is is positive trend. Howerver, it is also have some bad consequences of doing jobs which this essay will discuss the pros and cons of the presented notion in the upcomming paragraphs. To commence with, firstly the youngsters performing the irregualar work with their studies also give negative results as they get distract from thier learning path. To expound, it is obvious that already studies have lot of pressure pn students mind. So if they do part time jobs then do not have enough time to give more time to thier all subjects and extract extraa knowledge apart from their teachers material. For instance, it has been acknowleged in recent survey by education department that in today's world as maximum number of graduates left their college studies in between and start doing full time work. This are the reasons that put detrimental impact learners success. Moving further, towards the positive aspects of working temporary job have multitudnous logics. The most conspicous is that they became more independent as well as creative to take big decisions about thier future goals by thier own not only this but also learn how to manage thier things and prices and become multitalented. For instance, it is visible tahr if a student do any kind of half time job along with their education they can able to organize thier study or day to day expenses by own rather than being dependent on others. Secondly, they get familier with the difficulties arises in thier path and how to came forward from it by doing hardwork and achieve thier goals and change to be successfull. To recapitulate, it is manifest that doing irregualar jobs have both negative and postive trend. But, i personally opine that it has more pros for learners to accquire experience and make thier own indentity.
It is true fact in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
scenerio
that majority of learners are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
side by side
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
Possible spelling mistake found.
oweing
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience and learn cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I
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largerly
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beleive
that
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
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Howerver
, it is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which this essay will discuss the pros and cons of the presented notion in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
upcomming
paragraphs. To commence with,
firstly
the youngsters performing the
Possible spelling mistake found.
irregualar
work with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distract from
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
learning path. To expound, it is obvious that already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
pressure
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pn
students mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if they do part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
then do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
all subjects and extract
Possible spelling mistake found.
extraa
knowledge apart from their teachers material.
For instance
, it has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
acknowleged
in recent survey by education department that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world as maximum number of
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduates from".
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in between and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
work.
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "This is" or "This was"?
This are
the reasons that put detrimental impact learners success. Moving
further
, towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of working temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
multitudnous
logics. The most
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conspicous
is that they became more independent
as well
as creative to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
decisions about
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thier
future goals by
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thier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn how to manage
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thier
things and prices and become multitalented.
For instance
, it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a visible" or "is an visible"
is visible
Possible spelling mistake found.
tahr
if a student do any kind of half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
along with their education they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
organize
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or day to day expenses by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rather
than being dependent on others.
Secondly
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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familier
with the difficulties arises in
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thier
path and how to came forward from it by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and achieve
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thier
goals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to be
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successfull
. To recapitulate, it is manifest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
irregualar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
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postive
trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
opine that it has more pros for learners to
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accquire
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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thier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
indentity
.
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IELTS essay why do students prefer to do part time jobs during thier studies? do yo think it is postive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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