Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, the proportion of elderly people will become higher than the proportion of younger people. Will this be a positive or a negative development?

In some countries, the proportion of elderly people will become higher than the proportion of younger people. Will this be a positive or a negative development? pJmEa
Currently,there is a phenomenon that the population of senior generation account for a larger percent in the world. In my viewpoint,I strongly support that it has an adverse influence on the society and the public. In the firstly place,the increasing number of elder citizens lay a heavy financial burden on governments. With a low health condition, the demand of health care,sanitation and social services should be satisfied with a high proportion of aged peoples, which means governments have to allocate funds to build a plenty of nursing home with professional medical staff to take care of them rather than spend more money on construction of public facilities. In the second place, elder staff will affect the economical growth of a country. Having more elders decrease the employment rate of the society. consequently, the workforce which is crucial to a country ‘s efficiency and productivity is expected to be scarce and fall. For instance,some manual labour who build high-rise building could bring the financial benefit to the society which could not be replaced by the elderly. Finally, it is undeniable that higher population of senior citizens have direct impact on their families‘life. If a family with a great number of retirees, the younger generation is obligate to take care of them especially for disable elder person, which may lead to a pressure among families. In conclusion, from my own perspective, I strongly concur the idea that the rising population of aged citizen have more negative effects to the society and the public.
Currently,there
is a phenomenon that the population of senior generation account for a larger percent in the world. In my
viewpoint,I
strongly
support that it has an adverse influence on the
society
and the public.

In the
firstly
place,the
increasing number of
elder
citizens lay a heavy financial burden on
governments
. With a low health condition, the demand of health
care,sanitation
and social services should
be satisfied
with a high proportion of aged peoples, which means
governments
have to
allocate funds to build a
plenty
of nursing home with professional medical staff to take care of them
rather
than spend more money on construction of public facilities.

In the second place,
elder
staff will affect the
economical
growth of a country. Having more
elders
decrease the employment rate of the
society
.
consequently
, the workforce which is crucial to a country ‘s efficiency and productivity is
expected
to be scarce and fall.
For instance
some
manual
labour
who build high-rise building could bring the financial benefit to the
society
which could not
be replaced
by the elderly.

Finally
, it is undeniable that higher population of senior citizens have direct impact on their families‘life. If a family with a great number of retirees, the younger generation is
obligate
to take care of them
especially
for disable
elder
person, which may lead to a pressure among families.

In conclusion
, from my
own
perspective, I
strongly
concur the
idea
that the rising population of aged citizen have more
negative
effects to the
society
and the public.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some countries, the proportion of elderly people will become higher than the proportion of younger people. Will this be a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts