Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

Why do some people work harder

Why do some people work harder NMELN

Also, disadvantaged children have to study much harder than privileged children to earn the same educational opportunities. For example, Ivanka Trump was able to study at the Wharton School of Finance without the usual academic qualifications because her father is rich and famous. However, if kids from low-income families want to get into that same college, they have to study extremely hard to meet the scholarship standards because there is no way their parents could afford such an expensive private school.

Also
, disadvantaged children This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 study much harder than privileged children to earn the same educational opportunities. For example
, Ivanka Trump was able to study at the Wharton School of Finance without the usual academic qualifications This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 her father is rich and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:well-known
famous
. However
, if kids from low-income families want to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 into that same college, they This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 study extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :attain
meet
 the scholarship standards This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 there is no way their parents could afford such an expensive private school. 

IELTS essay Why do some people work harder

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

81 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Labels Descriptions

?
Currently is not available
Meet the criteria
Doesn't meet the criteria