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sugar-sweetened beverages drinks

sugar-sweetened beverages drinks KGeD6
Majority of people overconsuming sugar-sweetened beverages drinks which are harmful to their health. This mainly because of advertisement has great influence in expanding drinks intended to promote the sale and people addictive potential for sugar added drinks. The reason why people buy sugar added drinks because of advertising can rely on psychological effect to drive people to buy their products without any attention to their health. In most advertisements of Coca cola and Pepsi drinks appearing on media every day, by using image of celebrities, so as to obtain more purchases. It tells that they only provide immediate effects on our brain to keep us awake and revives, but they do not mention about negative effects on our health. As a result, these commercial videos courage them to buying it unconsciously. The slogan of sugar-sweetened beverages drinks, for instance "Be Young, Have Fun, Drink Pepsi", motivates young people to buy it and plays with consumers emotions. As for solution, Healthcare providers and government can work together to educate people about the effect of sugar-based drinks and promote more alternative drinks through media.
Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
overconsuming
sugar-sweetened beverages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
which are harmful to their health. This
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advertisement has great influence in expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
intended to promote the sale and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addictive potential for sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
drinks.

The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advertising can rely on psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
to drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their products without any attention to their health. In most advertisements of Coca cola and Pepsi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
appearing on media every day, by using image of celebrities,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
obtain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide immediate effects on our brain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us awake and revives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not mention about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on our health.
As a result
, these commercial videos courage them to buying it
unconsciously
. The slogan of sugar-sweetened beverages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
,
for instance
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Be Young, Have Fun,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drink
Pepsi
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, motivates young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it and plays with consumers emotions. As for solution, Healthcare providers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can work together to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
and promote more alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
through media.

IELTS essay sugar-sweetened beverages drinks

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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