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Why do I need a scholarship?

Why do I need a scholarship? K1q1
Nowadays, all educational institutions offer education by paying them a huge amount of tuition fee. Universities are one of them, where I can either pay for studying or get a scholarship. By not getting a scholarship, I am supposed to cover all my educational expenses which are too challenging and tough. Our house income is also not sufficient for covering all the expenses. Therefore, I need a scholarship that covers the huge volume of different expenses during my studying period. One of the most vital reasons that I need a scholarship is an admission to a university that is too hard to come out with. For example, Harvard University costs $198, 612 for four years excluding the dormitory and dining services. In this case, there may be a few people who can afford admission. What others should do? There should be a scholarship that one could apply for and get the chance of studying at Harvard University. There are also other costs that one could not manage to pay for. In the meanwhile, the tuition fee is also a big reason requesting for a scholarship. In other words, as much as my courses increase, that much my tuition fee’s rise. For example, I may need some courses in addition to the main ones during my studies, so I have to pay more. The normal tuition fee in Europe is 363 EURO per semester, but if I take some extra courses this fee would rise. Next, the costs of dormitory and food are also extremely hard to pay in addition to admission and tuition fee. As an example, if I stay for four years in a European or American country I have to pay approximately $21, 900 for food, $14, 400 for dormitory, $5000 for health insurance, nearly $5000 for clothing, and $2000 for buying books and other stationaries as searches has shown. The total of the above-mentioned expenses is $48, 300 which is extremely tough for me to cover. Last and not least, it depends on us that how much try and effort we put into studying. Perhaps that I am wealthy and don’t need any scholarship, if I don’t study, my money is useless. But it is really appreciable that one comes and fund many universities to sponsor the students who have many desires and wishes.
Nowadays, all educational institutions offer education by paying them a huge amount of tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
are one of them, where I can either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
. By not getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
, I
am supposed
to cover all my educational expenses which are too challenging and tough. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
income is
also
not sufficient for covering all the expenses.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
that covers the huge volume of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
expenses during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
period.

One of the most vital reasons that I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
is an admission to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that is
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out with.
For example
, Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
costs $198, 612 for four years excluding the dormitory and dining services.
In this case
, there may be a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can afford admission. What others should do? There should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
that one could apply for and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
. There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
costs that one could not manage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for.

In the meanwhile, the tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason requesting for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, as much as my courses increase, that much my tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee’s
rise.
For example
, I may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses
in addition
to the main ones during my studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
more. The normal tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
in Europe is 363
Possible agreement error. The noun 'EURO' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
EURO
per semester,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if I take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra courses this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
would rise.

Next
, the costs of dormitory and food are
also
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
in addition
to admission and tuition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
. As an example, if I stay for four years in a European or American country I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
approximately $21, 900 for food, $14, 400 for dormitory, $5000 for health insurance,
nearly
$5000 for clothing, and $2000 for buying books and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
stationaries
as searches has shown. The total of the above-mentioned expenses is $48, 300 which is
extremely
tough for me to cover.

Last and not least, it depends on us that how much
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
effort we put into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. Perhaps that I am wealthy and don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholarship
, if I don’t study, my money is useless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
really
appreciable that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
and fund
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to sponsor the students who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
desires and wishes.
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IELTS essay Why do I need a scholarship?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
387 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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