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Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion? pVMa
No one can deny that globalization has a major effect on the extinction of some languages. Meanwhile, some people consider that it is not important to protect them as life will be easier with fewer languages, however I disagree with this statement. I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs. First of all, when local languages die out, the possibility of effective communication will dramatically drop. Therefore, the extinction of languages not only doesn't cause easy life, but also makes it harder for some, especially the elderly. As a matter of fact, old people cannot convey important messages or even handle the daily conversation, because they lose the vital tool to communicate. Over time, a great number of the local languages in Iran are dying out, especially Laki. Most of the children and teenagers do not speak in their mother tongue anymore. Based on my personal experience, everyday I am witnessing that my father and my nieces cannot speak and communicate together in a proper way because of languages. Secondly, languages are not just sets of words and grammar rules, they are fundamental tools for surviving in specific businesses, especially local ones. In fact, some local businesses sell products existing in their environment like herbs, organic mountain honey, etc. most of the mentioned products have local names which explaining about their properties is only understandable for natives. For example, there are a great number of herbs in the Zagros Mountains whose names do not have equivalent in the Persian language like “Sorpa”. Thus, the extinction of local languages will cause irreparable damages to the economy of certain regions, because the possibility of advertising and explanation will be impossible or reduced. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea of having fewer languages to have an easier life. Languages are so vital for local inhabitants, because they are a great way to communicate, especially the young generation, and are significant tools to maintain their occupations. I believe that the vanishing of languages may actually make some lives more difficult.
No one can deny that globalization has a major effect on the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to protect them as life will be easier with fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
,
however
I disagree with this statement. I will elaborate on my opinion in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out, the possibility of effective communication will
dramatically
drop.
Therefore
, the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doesn't cause easy life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it harder for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
the elderly. As a matter of fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot convey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
messages or even handle the daily conversation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lose the vital tool to communicate. Over time, a great number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in Iran are dying out,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
Possible spelling mistake found.
Laki
. Most of the children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not speak in their mother tongue anymore. Based on my personal experience, everyday I am witnessing that my father and my nieces cannot speak and communicate together
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of languages.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sets of words and grammar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they are fundamental tools for surviving in specific businesses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businesses sell products existing in their environment like herbs, organic mountain honey, etc. most of the mentioned products have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
names which explaining about their properties is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
understandable for natives.
For example
, there are a great number of herbs in the Zagros Mountains whose names do not have equivalent in the Persian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
like “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sorpa
”.
Thus
, the extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
will cause irreparable damages to the economy of certain regions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the possibility of advertising and explanation will be impossible or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of having fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to have an easier life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Languages
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are a great way to communicate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
especially
the young generation, and are significant tools to maintain their occupations. I believe that the vanishing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
may actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more difficult.
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IELTS essay Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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