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why Denmark? Why Niels Brock?

why Denmark? Why Niels Brock? DBdk
I would like to introduce myself as, Sabin Khadka, a permanent resident of Thadachaur, 06 Shailung, Dolakha, Nepal. I'm a polite, enthusiastic and prudent student. I hold Nepalese citizenship having my passport number 12070791. I'm very gratified to you for providing me with such a wonderful opportunity to express my experiences, dreams and goals of life. I'm penning down this motivation letter aspiring to pursue BSc. (Hons) Business Studies from Niels Brock Copenhagen College. As for my academics, I have completed my secondary education Examination (SEE) in 2017 with a 3. 20 GPA from Tarun Ma Vi, Balaju and intermediate (+2) level in Management in 2019 with a 2. 62 CGPA from Hrit Academy Secondary School, Balaju, Kathmandu. Since a young age, I have always been interested in management since a very young age which makes me choose management as my major subject in high school. And as of now to get closer to my dream I have decided to apply to Niels Brock Copenhagen Business College. I dreamed of becoming a businessman in the future changing the scenario of the business world in Nepal. So after the completion of my high school, I gave IELTS Academic and scored an overall band score of 6 with no band less than 5. 5. With my academics and IELTS score, I could easily get admission to the college I choose as I met the entry requirements there. As I found the trend of overseas education as an indispensable phenomenon of the entire globalization, I dreamed of getting my degree overseas. I have done the necessary research which an international student must do by visiting the seminars, surfing through the websites and also consulting with the experts I get escorted cleanly about my necessities, options and time frames. I found plenty of option and eventually I grasp Denmark. I am attracted most to the way the education system is designed. Creativity, innovation, analytical and critical thinking of students are prioritized by their education system. These factors help students to create an excellent foundation for his or her future careers. The health work-life balance, progressive society, quality education and welcoming native people will undoubtedly provide me with the proper social skills and knowledge required to pursue that dream of mine and contribute to the developing globalization of the world. Obtaining a degree in Business Management from Denmark will push me towards a global career. After going into considerable depth in the areas of economic and finance I will surely share the knowledge and expertise and get benefited from contemporary applied business knowledge. After getting exposure to the most contemporaneous topics affecting businesses, I will genuinely return to my country and serve back to my nation. Our business sector is based locally only so I would like to expand it globally and give the proper market to our local products. After returning I will use the skills either to start something of my own. Furthermore, as a Nepalese Citizen, the country also expects me to contribute to its prosperity and development. Therefore, I believe that due to the afro mentioned reason I will return to my country, and contribute to national prosperity. To conclude, I want to assure you that I will humbly abide by all the rules and regulations of the Danish government and the college for excellent academic performance during my study and stay and I will return to my country after accomplishing my goals overseas. I'm an optimistic and genuine student with the sole intention of studying as a full- time student. Thus I would like to thank you for your valuable time and kind consideration and hope to get a positive response from your side. Yours sincerely, Sabin Khadka
I would like to introduce myself as, Sabin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khadka
, a permanent resident of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thadachaur
, 06
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shailung
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dolakha
, Nepal. I'm a polite, enthusiastic and prudent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hold Nepalese citizenship having my passport number 12070791.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
gratified to you for providing me with such a wonderful opportunity to express my experiences, dreams and goals of life.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
'm penning down this motivation letter aspiring to pursue
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
BSc.
(Hons)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
Studies from Niels Brock Copenhagen College.

As for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, I have completed my secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Examination (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEE
) in 2017 with a 3. 20 GPA from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tarun
Ma Vi,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Balaju
and intermediate (+2) level in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
in 2019 with a 2. 62 CGPA from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hrit
Academy Secondary School,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Balaju
, Kathmandu. Since a young age, I have always
been interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
since a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
as my major subject in high school. And as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to my dream I have decided to apply to Niels Brock Copenhagen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
College. I dreamed of becoming a businessman in the future changing the scenario of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world in Nepal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
after the completion of my high school, I gave IELTS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
and scored an
overall
band score of 6 with no band less than 5. 5. With my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
and IELTS score, I could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission to the college I choose as I met the entry requirements there.

As I found the trend of overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as an indispensable phenomenon of the entire globalization, I dreamed of getting my degree overseas. I have done the necessary research which an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do by visiting the seminars, surfing through the websites and
also
consulting with the experts I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
escorted
cleanly
about my necessities, options and time frames. I found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of option and
eventually
I grasp Denmark.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am attracted
most to the way the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
is designed
.

Creativity, innovation, analytical and critical thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are prioritized
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system. These factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to create an excellent foundation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
future careers. The health work-life balance, progressive society, quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and welcoming native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
undoubtedly
provide me with the proper social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge required to pursue that dream of mine and contribute to the developing globalization of the world. Obtaining a degree in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
from Denmark will push me towards a global career. After going into considerable depth in the areas of economic and finance I will
surely
share the knowledge and expertise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefited from contemporary applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
knowledge.

After getting exposure to the most contemporaneous topics affecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, I will
genuinely
return to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and serve back to my nation. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
sector
is based
locally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would like to expand it globally and give the proper market to our local products. After returning I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
either to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
something of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Furthermore
, as a Nepalese Citizen, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
me to contribute to its prosperity and development.
Therefore
, I believe that due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
afro
mentioned reason I will return to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and contribute to national prosperity.

To conclude
, I want to assure you that I will
humbly
abide by all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of the Danish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the college for excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance during my study and stay and I will return to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after accomplishing my goals overseas. I'm an optimistic and genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with the sole intention of studying as a full- time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
I would like to thank you for your valuable time and kind consideration and hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from your side.

Yours
sincerely
,

Sabin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khadka
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IELTS essay why Denmark? Why Niels Brock?

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
617 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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