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why are you studying your current major

why are you studying your current major xx3b6
The growth of computer power has brought phenomenal breakthroughs in hardware and software development, which have in turn changed global behavior and culture. We are truly living in a digital age, driven by computer science. As a result of the digital age, businesses are increasingly relying on software programs to deliver and transmit data across a multitude of platforms. This trend impacts all industries, from healthcare and banking to transportation and accounting. Therefore, Computer Science is needed in every industry and it can help every human being to have a better life. I like the fact that by studying computer science there are a variety of specializations to choose from. Such as, software developer, AI, and machine learning engineer, IT manager, which I had working experience in, and so on.  Concerning the continuous growth of the Information Technology world, there are many opportunities for careers across the world with high-paid salaries. After working in this industry for more than three years, I have decided to continue my education in CS, to broaden my knowledge in this area in one of the top-ranked CS departments in Canada. I have gained a lot of experience in the working environment; however, I have always felt the need to get more profound knowledge in this field, especially Data Management and Analysis and AI and Machine Learning areas. Even during my undergraduate studies, I always enjoyed studying Data Structure, Databases, Algorithms Design, and Artificial Intelligence courses which I got the highest score in all of them. During my professional career, I had worked for different industries and realized that data plays a huge role in a company's success or failure. While working in Raybod Ravesh Co. as a part-time employee, we developed project management software for the main company that I am working for (Ronak Engineering Co. ). I have been involved in this process from the scratch, writing some basic codes and mainly preparing proper infrastructure for the software to operate. I have learned by heart that “data is the core of any software”. After collecting and storing the data in a database, it is used for analysis purposes to help a company to find its weaknesses and strengths. After completing some local courses related to SQL server such as, design and development, administration, and business intelligence, and employing this knowledge in my workspace, and expanding my practical skills, I felt ready to continue my education in graduate studies to expand my knowledge in the Data Management field. While the Data Science program might look more reasonable for my passion, I have chosen to study Computer Science instead because there is more variety in the course topics. Especially I like to learn more about Artificial Intelligence and machine learning, which UBC sits at the forefront of this field revolution. It is fascinating how AI can help people in their personal and professional life. With the help of Machine Learning, companies can analyze their data rapidly and automatically, which helps organizations to identify profitable opportunities or even avoid unknown risks. I like to make this technology more accessible for smaller companies who might be unfamiliar with this valuable science. I have chosen to study in Canada mainly because of the cultural diversity and its warm and welcoming society, which makes it a safe and peaceful place for international students without fear of racial discrimination. Moreover, the quality of education is consistently very high throughout Canada, and there are many universities with high global rank providing various programs. Also, there is an opportunity to work for well-known companies and gain some valuable experience. Among all the top universities across Canada, I have chosen British Colombia University to complete my Master’s. Since I found out that, UBC’s CS department is one of the best ones in Canada and it has ranked 25th worldwide. Also, learning from such well-known faculty members is an honor. The IT industry in my native country is rapidly growing and shows excellent potential. However, compared to other, more advanced countries like Canada, it is still in its relative infancy. So, by studying in your master’s program and possibly working for a short period in Canada, I expect to gain the necessary expertise and experience to lead our industry to a new era.
The growth of computer power has brought phenomenal breakthroughs in hardware and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
development, which have in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
global behavior and culture. We are
truly
living in a digital age, driven by computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
As a result
of the digital age, businesses are
increasingly
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to deliver and transmit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
across a multitude of platforms. This trend impacts all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, from healthcare and banking to transportation and accounting.
Therefore
, Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is needed
in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
every human being to have a better life.

I like the fact that by studying computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
there are a variety of specializations to choose from. Such as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
developer, AI, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
engineer, IT manager, which I had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience in, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.  Concerning the continuous growth of the Information Technology world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for careers across the world with high-paid salaries.

After
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
for more than three years, I have decided to continue my education in CS, to broaden my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in this area in one of the top-ranked CS departments in Canada. I have gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment;
however
, I have always felt the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more profound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in this field,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
Management and Analysis and AI and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
areas. Even during my undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, I always enjoyed studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
Structure, Databases, Algorithms Design, and Artificial Intelligence courses which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest score in all of them.

During my professional career, I had worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and realized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
plays a huge role in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's success or failure. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raybod
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ravesh
Co. as a part-time employee, we developed project management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
for the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ronak
Engineering Co.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. I have
been involved
in this process from the scratch, writing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic codes and
mainly
preparing proper infrastructure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
to operate. I have learned by heart that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“data
is the core of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software”
. After collecting and storing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in a database, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for analysis purposes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to find its weaknesses and strengths.

After completing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local courses related to SQL server such as, design and development, administration, and business intelligence, and employing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in my workspace, and expanding my practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I felt ready to continue my education in graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
to expand my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
Management field. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
might look more reasonable for my passion, I have chosen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
instead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is more variety in the course topics.
Especially
I like to learn more about Artificial Intelligence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, which UBC sits at the forefront of this field revolution. It is fascinating how AI can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their personal and professional life. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can analyze their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
rapidly
and
automatically
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
organizations to identify profitable opportunities or even avoid unknown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. I like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this technology more accessible for smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who might be unfamiliar with this valuable science.

I have chosen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in Canada
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the cultural diversity and its warm and welcoming society, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it a safe and peaceful place for international students without fear of racial discrimination.
Moreover
, the quality of education is
consistently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high throughout Canada, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities with high global rank providing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Also
, there is an opportunity to work for well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable experience.

Among all the top universities across Canada, I have chosen British Colombia University to complete my Master’s. Since I found out that, UBC’s CS department is one of the best ones in Canada and it has ranked 25th worldwide.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from such well-known faculty members is an honor.

The IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in my native country is
rapidly
growing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
excellent potential.
However
, compared to other, more advanced countries like Canada, it is
still
in its relative infancy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by studying in your master’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and
possibly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a short period in Canada, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to gain the necessary expertise and experience to lead our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
to a new era.
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IELTS essay why are you studying your current major

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
709 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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