Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Why are there many cases of mental breakdowns amongst students nowadays? How can this influence them?

Why are there many cases of mental breakdowns amongst students nowadays? How can this influence them? B7LwX
The mental breakdown is considered an imperative issue that is occurring in the college hall frequently and the student has been suffering this issue for a while and without having any support from the department of the college. Therefore, the cases of the mental breakdown of students are increasing constantly through some gloomy factors of society. This report will have a crucial role in giving out some issues that students are facing normally such as pressure to succeed, financial worries, and uncertainty about their future. On the first hand, the first issue is caused by the mental health of the students that they have to push themselves to become successful and look forward to achieving a great goal in the future. In general, this factor will contribute to increased levels of anxiety and pressure in their mind that if they do not succeed, they can absorb a great life and struggle to live in the tough days. According to the light program, a number of students feel tremendous pressure to achieve academic success and get a high score in college. Therefore, this factor will trigger an invisible effect on their health and they always keep in mind that success in college is only one method for getting a great career and financial well-being. On the other hand, it is not always the number of students who can afford to pay tuition fees, in which one of them has to take out a loan to pay the school fees that help them be able to take part in the course of college. According to scholarship America, college students were suffering worrying about where they can get money to pay tuition fees. The case study also found nearly 60% of college students feeling anxious about their financial issues and half of the students are concerned about paying their expenses in daily life. Furthermore, the rest among students were nearly 32% that they are neglecting their continuing to take part in studying in college due to the loans they already owned. Hence, they have to seek a full-time job to pay rent monthly or loans. So the financial worries are one of the biggest factors that trigger the level of pressure bigger for the students day by day. On the other hand, sometimes the student will not get the right path for their future by choosing an inappropriate major for their hobby or by other factors such as the pandemic or fear of not seeking the job instantly. Therefore, They get disoriented in their future. According to BBC news, some students got lost by choosing an inappropriate major for their decision. Therefore, they could not seek a stable job and did not have gain enough financial to balancer of their living standard as well. Furthermore, with the consequence of the pandemic that the students are decreasing the level of belief that they could find a great job instantly and they are really scared they would become a part of unemployment during a recession. Hence, they will get a mental breakdown completely and cause a detrimental aspect for their life Students are facing the mental health issue frequently that causes so many negative effects for their life such as pressure to succeed, financial worries and uncertainty about the future. From my point of view, college should develop the channels of communication with students in order to help get an acknowledgment about their mental health proactively and prevent bad consequences as well.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
breakdown
is considered
an imperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
that is
occurring in the college hall
frequently
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has been suffering this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
for a while and without having any support from the department of the college.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, the cases of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
breakdown of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
increasing
constantly
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gloomy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
of society. This report will have a crucial role in giving out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facing
normally
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to succeed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
worries, and uncertainty about their future.

On the
first
hand, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is caused
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
push themselves to become successful and look forward to achieving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
goal in the future.
In general
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
will contribute to increased levels of anxiety and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
in their mind that if they do not succeed, they can absorb a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
life and struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the tough days. According to the light program, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to achieve academic success and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high score in college.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
will trigger an invisible effect on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that success in college is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one method for getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
career and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
well-being.

On the other hand
, it is not always the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
tuition fees, in which one of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take out a loan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the school fees that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the course of college. According to scholarship America, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were suffering worrying about where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
tuition fees. The case study
also
found
nearly
60% of college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feeling anxious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are concerned
about paying their expenses in daily life.
Furthermore
, the rest among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were
nearly
32% that they are neglecting their continuing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in studying in college due to the loans they already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
.
Hence
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
seek a full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
rent monthly or loans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
worries are one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that trigger the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
bigger for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
day by day.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the right path for their future by choosing an inappropriate major for their hobby or by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as the pandemic or fear of not seeking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instantly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disoriented in their future. According to BBC news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lost by choosing an inappropriate major for their decision.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, they could not seek a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and did not have gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
to balancer of their living standard
as well
.
Furthermore
, with the consequence of the pandemic that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are decreasing the level of belief that they could find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
instantly and
they are
really
scared they would become a part of unemployment during a recession.
Hence
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
breakdown completely and cause a detrimental aspect for their life

Students are facing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
frequently
that causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for their life such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to succeed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
worries and uncertainty about the future.

From my point of view, college should develop the channels of communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an acknowledgment about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
proactively
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences
as well
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Why are there many cases of mental breakdowns amongst students nowadays? How can this influence them?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
577 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Whether the appearance of more advertisements exerts a positive or negative impact is a matter of controversy
    Whether the appearance of more advertisements exerts a positive or negative impact is a matter of controversy. Some people reckon that the prevalence of commercials jeopardizes people’s budget, while others reckon that this trend boosts sales. I firmly think that the benefits of this development are...
  • 5band
    Do you like talking with people? How do you like spending time with your friends? v Would you prefer to study alone or with others?
    To tell you the truth, I am quite an extrovert (someone who is very lively, confident, and likes social situations) person, so l enjoy communicate with people and make new friends. In fact, I like to strike up (start) conversations with the passengers on the bus when I commute (travel regularly to a...
  • 5.5band
    dedicated speech to the doctors
    Ladies and Gentlemen, I am incredibly proud to be a part of this dedication of the healthcare workers who are fighting bravely on the front lines against the pandemic. COVID-19 is a particularly dangerous epidemic with a rapid spread, unpredictable developments that have severely impacted almost e...
  • 5band
    My first country-my pride.
    I was born in Uzbekistan, my navel was shed in here. And till now, i grew and learned to speak here, and I ate food and drank water from Uzbekistan. My mother land can give everything for me. Then I'm studying at her schools and i'm getting knowledge from her teachers. And we should provide our moth...
  • 5band
    the special food in my country
    i love food. there are so many kinds of food in the world. In my country, there are also have many delicious food and one of them i like most is "banh mi". Banh mi is a combination of meat, cucumber, letture, onions and so on. It's very easy to carry. Banh mi is a popular street food in Vietnam. You...
  • 6band
    some parents and teachers think that there should be more rules and less freedom for children to have bright life. with this?
    It is the principal duty of parents and teachers to help their children evolve into a responsible citizen to survive in the modern society. For this, they make use of every possible mode to help their children mould into disciplined one. One of such method is lining more rules and providing lesser l...