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While working at Hoang Lien National Park in Lao Cai Province in Vietnam, I noticed that the Red Dao people in the area have collected a lot of natural medicinal plants for processing bath medicines and serving tourism. In 2015, I think that if this contin v.1

While working at Hoang Lien National Park in Lao Cai Province in Vietnam, I noticed that the Red Dao people in the area have collected a lot of natural medicinal plants for processing bath medicines and serving tourism. In 2015, I think that if this contin v. 1
It is true that our sleeping patterns have changed significantly over the last fifty years. People now get considerably less sleep than their ancestors. In my opinion, this is because of the increasing stress and the effects of the digital age. (41) We had seen in the past that people always sleep early at night and wake up early in the morning. They had adequate sleeping hours. Therefore, they look active and energetic all the day and performed their duties efficiently. (39) Presently, the sleeping patterns are greatly changed, especially in big cities of many countries. Nowadays, people are in a constant race to fulfil their basic needs or to achieve their goals and as a result they get less time for sleep. Sleeping less is actually considered as a virtue these days. All the high profile personalities take pride in cutting down their rest hours and consider it a key to success. Similarly, most people currently prefer to spend their leisure time in chatting with their friends using social media rather than going to sleep. (94) Unfortunately, this trend is a serious problem that has a negative impact on the well-being of communities. For instance, less sleeping hours can cause tiredness, depression, lack of concentration and many health problems including obesity and high blood pressure. All of these issues will eventually result in a weak society. Thus, if the attitude of people keeps on increasing towards less sleep, then they will surely suffer physical and mental retardation in their future life. (75) Hence, the governments around the world have to launch education campaigns to inform the public about the importance of getting adequate sleep. (22)
It is true that our
sleeping
patterns have
changed
significantly
over the last fifty years.
People
now
get
considerably
less
sleep
than their ancestors. In my opinion, this is
because
of the increasing
stress
and the effects of the digital age. (41)

We had
seen
in the past that
people
always
sleep
early at night and wake up early in the morning. They had adequate
sleeping
hours.
Therefore
, they look active and energetic all the day and performed their duties
efficiently
. (39)

Presently
, the
sleeping
patterns are
greatly
changed
,
especially
in
big
cities of
many
countries. Nowadays,
people
are in a constant race to fulfil their basic needs or to achieve their goals and
as a result
they
get
less
time for
sleep
.
Sleeping
less
is actually considered as a virtue these days. All the high profile personalities take pride in cutting down their rest hours and consider it a key to success.
Similarly
, most
people
currently
prefer to spend their leisure time in chatting with their friends using social media
rather
than going to
sleep
. (94)

Unfortunately, this trend is a serious problem that has a
negative
impact on the well-being of communities.
For instance
,
less
sleeping
hours can cause tiredness, depression, lack of concentration and
many
health problems including obesity and high blood pressure. All of these issues will
eventually
result in a weak society.
Thus
, if the attitude of
people
keeps
on increasing towards
less
sleep
, then they will
surely
suffer physical and mental retardation in their future life. (75)

Hence
, the
governments
around the world
have to
launch education campaigns to inform the public about the importance of getting adequate
sleep
. (22)
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay While working at Hoang Lien National Park in Lao Cai Province in Vietnam, I noticed that the Red Dao people in the area have collected a lot of natural medicinal plants for processing bath medicines and serving tourism. In 2015, I think that if this contin v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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