Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

21. It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. v.1

21. It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. v. 1
In many countries, clinical trials are broadcasted on television. Due to this the general public can watch what is happening in law courts. I believe the advantages are equal to disadvantages. It is in the human nature to learn from others experiences. The escalating rates of crimes can be decreased by setting an example of criminals in front of the public. As an illustration, In Iran, the rapist’s trials in law courts are shown on television to discourage the intentions of other offenders. This has remarkably reduced crime rates in Iran. Many countries are also following this trend. Therefore, discouragement of wrongdoers can be assured by telecasting their trials on the television. Broadcasting trials on television can increase injustice. The public opinion would be based on what the media portrays. Because of the biased opinion and lack of knowledge about judicial system justice cannot be done. To illustrate, those offenders who have enough wealth, try to bribe media. This act leads to the portrayal of their positive image among the general population. Consequently, people favour them by participating in rallies and outrageous activities. Such act leads to instability of economic status in countries, ultimately affecting individuals. This leads to build up of pressure on the higher authorities. Thus, the legal activities are hindered, leading to injustice and other legal issues. To conclude, in recent years, many law courts in different countries offer trials to telecast publicly on television. The benefits of it are equal to demerits as a whole. This trend will increase in foreseeable future.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, clinical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
are broadcasted
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Due to this the
Consider using "public".
general public
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
what is happening in law courts. I believe the advantages are equal to disadvantages.

It is in the human nature to learn from others experiences. The escalating rates of crimes can
be decreased
by setting an example of criminals in front of the public. As an illustration, In Iran, the rapist’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
in law courts
are shown
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to discourage the intentions of other offenders. This has
remarkably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
crime rates in Iran.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
also
following this trend.
Therefore
, discouragement of wrongdoers can
be assured
by telecasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on the television.

Broadcasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can increase injustice. The public opinion would
be based
on what the media
You should probably use "portray".
portrays
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the biased opinion and lack of knowledge about judicial system justice cannot
be done
. To illustrate, those offenders who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wealth, try to bribe media. This act leads to the portrayal of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image among the general population.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
them by participating in rallies and outrageous activities. Such act leads to instability of economic status in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
ultimately
affecting individuals. This leads to build up of pressure on the higher authorities.
Thus
, the legal activities
are hindered
, leading to injustice and other legal issues.

To conclude
, in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
law courts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trials
to telecast
publicly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. The benefits of it are equal to demerits as a whole. This trend will increase in foreseeable future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 21. It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts