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While a lot of young people do sport in the youth, they give up when they become older.

While a lot of young people do sport in the youth, they give up when they become older. There are several reasons for this. Some of them I want to mention below. Firstly, it is obvious that sport is good for health. Secondly, people doing sport, spend pleasure time salubrious. Finally, a healthy body has a healthy mind. Despite this, the elderly do not go in for sport. The lack of time may cause for this. They deal with family much and can not find time for exercise. To solve this problem children of adults can help them in their housework. The other member of the family also should reduce their work and care. Thus, adults can spend time on theirselves. The other reason stopping sport is their own mind. Some people think that if they do physical exercise, others will taunt them. In other words, adults shy to play sport. For tackling this problem I consider the society must change thought. Everyone can do exercise in any age they want. Age must not be hassle in this way. To my mind, government also can help by enlightening and incentive programs in sports. Besides this, authorities can help with discounted programs in the field of sports for adults. These efforts can motivate the elderly. In conclusion, although people give up sport when they become adults, for health and fit body this problem can settle by different ways. As a result, diseases can be reduced and everybody will be happier.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in the youth, they give up when they become older. There are several reasons for this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them I want to mention below.

Firstly
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, spend pleasure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
salubrious.
Finally
, a healthy body has a healthy mind. Despite this, the elderly do not go in for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
may cause for this. They deal with family much and can not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for exercise. To solve this problem children of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their housework. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
member of the family
also
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their work and care.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirselves
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reason stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they do physical exercise, others will taunt them. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
shy to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. For tackling this problem I consider the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. Everyone can do exercise in any age they want. Age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be hassle in this way. To my mind,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
by enlightening and incentive programs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Besides
this, authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with discounted programs in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. These efforts can motivate the elderly.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
when they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, for health and fit body this problem can settle by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
As a result
, diseases can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and everybody will be happier.
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IELTS essay While a lot of young people do sport in the youth, they give up when they become older.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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