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Some governments believe it is necessary to impose a higher tax on junkfood because an increasing number of people are suffering for health issue as result of eating to much this type of food. what do you think about it?

In this modern era, consumption of junkfood are increased and its become cause of disease. Therefore that is required to mitigate this problem. some people purcieve that governments should increase tax on junkfood. I believe that it has been helped to reduce use of unhealthy food but also in some factor it has not affected. There are many reason to increase tax on junk food. firstly, more tax attract high price of product and middle class people think before purchase expensive product. therefore people automatically reduced to use of unhealthy food. research conducted by a group of scientist shows that majority of people seeing price before the Purchase and they decide on the base of prices. moreover people like to serve junk food in the parties and celebration of festival, it can be reduced after increasing tax on unhealthy food. on the other hand there are many foody pepole, who eat more junk food compared to other and price of product not affected to reduce use of junk food after increasing tax on junk food. Moreover, some people cannot be able to purchase and it is not sell more compared to past in order to reduce selling of junk food, production of junk food automatically reduced and company hire less people. therefore people lost their job if production of junk food reduce. study of food Association shows that more than millions people work in factory of junkfood and their family rely on this kind of factory. To conclude, increase the tax on junk food it can be reduced health issue and also consumption of junk food. on the other side that affect the production of company and people lost their job. therefore, I think it has equal point of good and bad factor after increasing tax on food.
In this modern era, consumption of
Possible spelling mistake found.
junkfood
are increased
and its become cause of disease.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
that
is required
to mitigate this problem.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
purcieve
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
junkfood
. I believe that it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factor it has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reason to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
firstly
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
attract high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of product and middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
expensive product.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
research
conducted by a group of scientist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Purchase and
they decide on the base of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the parties and celebration of festival, it can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
after increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on unhealthy food.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other hand there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
foody
Possible spelling mistake found.
pepole
, who eat more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
compared to other and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of product not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
after increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot be able to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
purchase and
it is not sell more compared to past in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
hire
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their job if production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
study
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Association
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in factory of
Possible spelling mistake found.
junkfood
and their family rely on this kind of factory.

To conclude
, increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
it can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
health issue and
also
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other side that affect the production of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has equal point of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
factor after increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.

IELTS essay Some governments believe it is necessary to impose a higher tax on junkfood because an increasing number of people are suffering for health issue as result of eating to much this type of food. what do you think about it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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