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Which system is better : Teacher centered or student centered education?

Which system is better: Teacher centered or student centered education? qV1Rp
In the modern society, education is the utmost concern of every parent. Many people believe that teacher center is the best way of education. However, in my opinion, student centered education brings more benefits than teacher centered education. First of all, every student has their own talent and also unique personalities. With student centered education, students can be paid more attention to, have their mistakes corrected individually. In all, learners are fully asisted to improve themselves. As a result, the learning will be more efficient and easier. Second, student centered education can tighten the relationship between students and teachers. School becomes their second home, and which creates a good environment for them to prove their talents. Also, friendly relationship might be the learning encouragement for students. For instance, the Finnish education is known as the best system of education due to its friendly and open environment for students. Moreover, student centered education can help learners enhance their communicative and collaborative skills when working in teams as well as when responding to their teachers. Students can independently think about any issue and put their own opinions and ideas forward to their class in a discuss. To sum up, teacher centered education is now out of date. Student centered education approach is obviously good that should be adopted by every country(ies).
In the modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the utmost concern of every parent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
center is the best way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
brings more benefits than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
education.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
talent and
also
unique personalities. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
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students
can
be paid
more attention to, have their mistakes corrected
individually
. In all, learners are
fully
Possible spelling mistake found.
asisted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.
As a result
, the learning will be more efficient and easier.

Second,
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student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can tighten the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. School becomes their second home, and which creates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment for them to prove their talents.
Also
, friendly relationship might be the learning encouragement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, the Finnish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is known
as the best system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to its friendly and open environment for students.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
learners enhance their communicative and collaborative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
when working in teams
as well
as when responding to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
independently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about any issue and put their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
forward to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'discuss' is correct. If 'discuss' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a discuss
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
out of date.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
approach is
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that should
be adopted
by every country(
Possible spelling mistake found.
ies
).
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IELTS essay Which system is better: Teacher centered or student centered education?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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