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some people believe that the internet provides them with a lot of valuable information, others claim that too much information could create problems v.1

some people believe that the internet provides them with a lot of valuable information, others claim that too much information could create problems v. 1
I agree that overindulgence of the plastic money has been one of the major reasons why people tend to accumulate liability. Banks should resolve to sanction credit cards only after ascertaining an individual’s financial capability and his history of settling liabilities. My essay would discuss the reasons behind people’s overuse of credit cards and steps to be taken by the Banks to regulate the same. Firstly, individuals tend to overspend via credit cards because it doesn’t impact their bank balance. Psychologically, one examines his bank balance for his liquidity, but fails to consider his mounting bills. Secondly, people assume that future profits would pay-off their current bills. Future promises of extra income make people go overboard while using plastic money. The credit period feature plays a major a role here. For example, I spend Rs. 10, 000/- today, assuming I get bonus before my due date of payment which is 45 days later. Meanwhile, I believe certain checks by the banks before issuing cards would establish user’s capability. Firstly, they have to scrutinize his financial history. If he has a record of being a defaulter, it would be an indication of his tendency to dodge dues and his pecuniary instability. Secondly, the Banks should investigate the source of income. In the absence of steady flow, it would establish his inability to settle bills. For example, if the bank learns that the only source of income is from winning lottery, his future ability to repay dues becomes debatable. In conclusion, certain precautionary measures undertaken by banks would surely control the dangerous tendency using credit cards indiscriminately. Also, individuals should be educated about the drawbacks of plastic money before procuring it.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that overindulgence of the plastic money has been one of the major reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to accumulate liability.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Banks
should resolve to sanction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after ascertaining an individual’s financial capability and his history of settling liabilities. My essay would discuss the reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and steps to
be taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Banks
to regulate the same.

Firstly
, individuals tend to overspend via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it doesn’t impact their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
balance.
Psychologically
, one examines his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
balance for his liquidity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fails to consider his mounting bills.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that future profits would pay-off their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
bills. Future promises of extra income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go overboard while using plastic money. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
period feature plays a major a role here.
For example
, I spend Rs. 10, 000/-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, assuming I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bonus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my due date of payment which is 45 days later.

Meanwhile, I believe certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
issuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
would establish user’s capability.
Firstly
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
scrutinize his financial history. If he has a record of being a defaulter, it would be an indication of his tendency to dodge dues and his pecuniary instability.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Banks
should investigate the source of income. In the absence of steady flow, it would establish his inability to settle bills.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
learns that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of income is from winning lottery, his future ability to repay dues becomes debatable.

In conclusion
, certain precautionary measures undertaken by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
would
surely
control the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
tendency using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
indiscriminately
.
Also
, individuals should
be educated
about the drawbacks of plastic money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
procuring it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay some people believe that the internet provides them with a lot of valuable information, others claim that too much information could create problems v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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