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Which one is better? Homeschooling or traditional school? Give advantage and you opinion.

Which one is better? Homeschooling or traditional school? Give advantage and you opinion. VEVp6
From homeschooling statistics, it's clear that homeschooling is becoming a more accepted method of education. However some people still believe that nothing can be better for children than actually going to school. This essay intends to explore the benefits of both approaches. I, personally, side with the latter view. The most important benefit of homeschooling is individual teacher's attention. In traditional school environment, classmates often learn at very different speeds. This helps slower learners stay on track with the class, but often leaves bright children bored and distracted. Homeschooling also helps parents incorporate subjects that might not be included in the local school's curriculum, such as foreign language. On the other hand, keeping the child out of a traditional school environment greatly inhibits his/her access to other children. Learning to make friends and exist within a group are important life lessons that children could miss out through homeschooling. Additionally, school life is filled with plenty of exciting opportunities for children. These extracurricular activities can help children better adjust in society. Traditional schooling events such as sports and spelling bees encourage the child to do his best. Thses things give children something to strive for, and uncover natural aptitudes that might go untapped in homeschooled environments. To sum up, even though homeschooling has its merits, nothing can be better than sending the child to a traditional school.
From homeschooling statistics, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that homeschooling is becoming a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
method of education.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
believe that nothing can be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than actually going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This essay intends to explore the benefits of both approaches. I,
personally
, side with the latter view.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit of homeschooling is individual teacher's attention. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment, classmates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
learn at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
speeds. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
slower learners stay on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bored and distracted. Homeschooling
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
parents incorporate subjects that might not
be included
in the local school's curriculum, such as foreign language.

On the other hand
, keeping the child out of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment
greatly
inhibits his/her access to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Learning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and exist within a group are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life lessons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could miss out through homeschooling.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life
is filled
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of exciting opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These extracurricular activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better adjust in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as sports and spelling bees encourage the child to do his best.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thses
things give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
something to strive for, and uncover natural aptitudes that might go untapped in homeschooled environments.

To sum up,
even though
homeschooling has its merits, nothing can be better than sending the child to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Which one is better? Homeschooling or traditional school? Give advantage and you opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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