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For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. 1) why it happened 2) encourage them for other activities

For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. 1) why it happened 2) encourage them for other activities GrmkL
These days, internet facilitates everything. It made this possible that people can see, visit, experience, and even shop by a set of few clicks. By this invention world has become so tiny; however caused an introduction of big time issue in younger generation. Where people spends a lot of spare time on internet surffing. And internet proved itself as a medium of shopping through online stores. With this letter, I will try to enlight the major reasonings why this happened and also, try to suggests some possible solution approaches. The world become much fast these days and everyone of us is competing in an invisible race. This race is common for all irrespective to the age group. Here, we will try to cover young generation. Students are swamped with long lectures in colleges, preceeded by extra classes in order to score good in exams. Because of this hectic schedule, it became cumbersome to meet people physically. As a result, people prefer to stay at home and thus, they start browsing online shopping markets instead of actually visiting the one. People are so habitual now to this technical enhancement that they do not want to move from their bed and shop online. In contrast, doing online window shopping will not cost anything and they spends hours and make themselves relaxed by following the trending market. In addition, this mentality is causing to live in a virtual world. People are keen to live in virtual world rather be in the real one. This trend should be destroyed at the earliest before it will lead to a superficial worlds start. Policies should be upgraded in the education system such that students will prefer get together instead of only meeting on virtual environments. Looking at the trend of the online shopping, the physical market should also offer the same of compatitive price range, variety, options, deals so that people will to go out and roam this beautiful world. To break this trend, we must require to encourage young generation to play field games, outdoor sports, and also allow them to show their capabilities on field. The first step for this would begin from the guardians they have to come-up and start spending time with their children to teach them importance of becoming socially active. In conclusion, I would like to present a thought, which I learnt in my childhood. The dangerous impacts of doing things over! Putting an extra effort may disturb the actual goal, Spending more time in shopping be it online or offline may led to self obsession and cause social distance. So to avoid any kind of repurcussions, one should do everything in limits.
These days, internet facilitates everything. It made this possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, visit, experience, and even shop by a set of few clicks. By this invention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tiny;
however
caused an introduction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
issue in younger generation.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
surffing
. And internet proved itself as a medium of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores. With this letter, I will try to
Possible spelling mistake found.
enlight
the major
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasonings
why this happened and
also
, try to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "suggest".
suggests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solution approaches.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
become much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
these days and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
of us is competing in an invisible race. This race is common for all irrespective to the age group. Here, we will try to cover young generation. Students
are swamped
with long lectures in colleges,
Possible spelling mistake found.
preceeded
by extra classes in order to score
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in exams.
Because of this
hectic schedule, it became cumbersome to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
physically
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to stay at home and
thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
browsing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
markets
instead
of actually visiting the one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
habitual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to this technical enhancement that they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from their bed and shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
In contrast
, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will not cost
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
anything and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "spend"
spends
hours and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves relaxed by following the trending market.

In addition
, this mentality is causing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
rather
be in the real one. This trend should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
at the earliest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it will lead to a superficial
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "world"?
worlds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. Policies should
be upgraded
in the education system such that students will prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
meeting on virtual environments. Looking at the trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, the physical market should
also
offer the same of
Possible spelling mistake found.
compatitive
price range, variety, options, deals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will to go out and roam this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. To break this trend, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
require
Did you mean "encouraging"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to encourage
young generation to play field games, outdoor sports, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their capabilities on field. The
first
step for this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
from the guardians they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
-up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children to teach them importance of becoming
socially
active.

In conclusion
, I would like to present a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, which I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in my childhood. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
impacts of doing things over! Putting an extra effort may disturb the actual goal, Spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
be it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or offline may led to self obsession and cause social distance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to avoid any kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
repurcussions
, one should do everything in limits.
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IELTS essay For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. 1) why it happened 2) encourage them for other activities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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