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Today, people live longer so older people should continue working more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement?

Today, people live longer so older people should continue working more. with statement? DV0yW
In this day and age, modernization makes several things change a lot. As a result, some people believe that the elderly should have higher retirement age because of longer longevity. From my perspective, after assuming the advantages and the disadvantages, I agree with this idea to some extent. On the one hand, there are some main reasons why I am convinced that people should retain working for a longer time. To begin with, humans’ heath is much better than the previous due to an increase in the standard of living. To be specific, higher healthcare services and nutritious food in term of quality leads to a significant rise in their physical ability. Consequently, they are physically stronger than the previous generations though they are at the same age. Furthermore, the youth can diminish carrying old people in finance through social benefits. In other words, the longer people receive retirement benefits, the less money the authority has to pay. Despite the positive impacts mentioned above, this idea still have many disputes. One primary reason is that the elderly worked in a long period of time, so it is reasonable for them to relax and unwind for the remaining life. Another primary reason is that it is dangerous for old generations to keep working. For one thing, there are accidental situations putting them under the threat due to the fact that they are physically weak. For instance, they probably get a stroke when working, causing considerable damages to them and their family members. In conclusion, I suppose that people should continue work, but it should be to some extent. This will probably make a shift in the societies’ development.
In this day and age, modernization
makes
several things
change
a lot.
As a result
,
some
people
believe that the elderly should have higher retirement age
because
of longer longevity. From my perspective, after assuming the advantages and the disadvantages, I
agree
with this
idea
to
some
extent.

On the one hand, there are
some
main reasons why I
am convinced
that
people
should retain working for a longer time. To
begin
with, humans’ heath is much better than the previous due to an increase in the standard of living. To be specific, higher healthcare services and nutritious food in term of quality leads to a significant rise in their physical ability.
Consequently
, they are
physically
stronger than the previous generations though they are at the same age.
Furthermore
, the youth can diminish carrying
old
people
in finance through social benefits.
In other words
, the longer
people
receive retirement benefits, the less money the authority
has to
pay.

Despite the
positive
impacts mentioned above, this
idea
still
have
many
disputes. One primary reason is that the elderly worked in a long period of time,
so
it is reasonable for them to relax and unwind for the remaining life. Another primary reason is that it is
dangerous
for
old
generations to
keep
working. For one thing, there are accidental situations putting them under the threat due to the fact that they are
physically
weak.
For instance
, they
probably
get
a stroke when working, causing considerable damages to them and their family members.

In conclusion
, I suppose that
people
should continue work,
but
it should be to
some
extent. This will
probably
make
a shift in the societies’ development.
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IELTS essay Today, people live longer so older people should continue working more. with statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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