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Which one better home school or going to school? Discuss advantage and give your opinion.

Which one better home school or going to school? Discuss advantage and give your opinion. rKwp2
Education is essential part of everyone's life, it should be given in proper way. One school of thought assert that infants can get better education at home, while others advocate that it is better to join school for education. Both have their on pros, which are disccused in trail paragraph before reaching to a logical conclusion. First and foremost advantage of home school is pupil can learn at their own pace so that they can understand everything better. Besides that, home school is best option to give away the stress of transportation, student can evaluate that time in another activity to develop themselves such as craft, playing games. Nonetheless, going to school has its obvious benefits. Firstly, at school children meet other mates and develop friendship with them, which help enormously to make their life happy. Second bright side is that, they get erudition in proper method and atmosphere, couple with that children also learn each subject from different masters of that subject, as result, they can get profound knowledge. On top of that, school goers can take part in extra co-curricular activities plathora are sports, dancing, painting and yoga. Along with that they improve their communitlcation skills as well. In my perception, going to school gives friends, good knowledge, co-curricular activities and may more merits henceforth, going to school is more superior than home schooling to develop various vital skills in juveniles which provide aid to them in their bright future. On the close scrutiny, it can be concluded that child can admitted in the school to take real life experience of education, and they can get education in proper method and atmosphere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is essential part of everyone's life, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in proper way. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
assert that infants can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at home, while others advocate that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Both have their on pros, which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
disccused
in trail paragraph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to a logical conclusion.

First
and foremost advantage of home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is pupil can learn at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can understand everything better.
Besides
that, home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
option to give away the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of transportation, student can evaluate that time in another activity to develop themselves such as craft, playing games.

Nonetheless, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has its obvious benefits.
Firstly
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other mates and develop friendship with them, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enormously
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life happy. Second bright side is that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
erudition in proper method and atmosphere, couple with that children
also
learn each subject from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
masters of that subject, as result, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profound knowledge.
On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
goers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in extra co-curricular activities
Possible spelling mistake found.
plathora
are sports, dancing, painting and yoga. Along with that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
communitlcation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
.

In my perception, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
gives friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge, co-curricular activities and may more merits henceforth, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
The adjective 'more' is normally used with to and does not need 'more' (so called implicit comparative). Probably you need to write: "superior to".
more superior than
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
to develop various vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in juveniles which provide aid to them in their bright future.

On the
Consider using "scrutiny".
close scrutiny
, it can
be concluded
that child can admitted in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to take real life experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in proper method and atmosphere.
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IELTS essay Which one better home school or going to school? Discuss advantage and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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