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Which is more important to you: eating for pleasure or eating for health? Why?

Which is more important to you: eating for pleasure or eating for health? Why? 7LYxk
Eating for pleasure or eating for health always is a controversial topic. In my opinion, there are two reasons why eating for health is more important. First of all, health plays an important role in our life. Being healthy, we are in a good mood and strong physical to enjoy the happiness or to challenge the difficulties that we meet in personal life or career path. For example, nowadays, some people have a stomach ache because they do not eat on time. When this disease occurs, we have a strongly pain and we cannot concentrate the mind on doing something. Second, a healthy diet is helpful for health. Our body needs a sufficient amount of different nutrients for mental and also physical activities such as glucose, protein, calcium, and so on. So, we must eat various foods. However, if we eat too much what we like such as pizza, fast-food, chips, etc. , the superfluous nutrients will be retained in our organs, then this accumulates fat and cholesterol that affect dangerously to health. In conclusion, health is priceless, therefore eating for health is really more important.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Eating
for pleasure or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
always is a controversial topic. In my opinion, there are two reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. Being healthy, we are in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood and strong physical to enjoy the happiness or to challenge the difficulties that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in personal life or career path.
For example
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a stomach ache
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not eat on time. When this disease occurs, we have a
You used an adverb ('strongly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('pain') instead of another adjective.
strongly pain
and we cannot concentrate the mind on doing something. Second, a healthy diet is helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Our body needs a sufficient amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nutrients for mental and
also
physical activities such as glucose, protein, calcium, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
eat various foods.
However
, if we eat too much what we like such as pizza,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food, chips, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
the superfluous nutrients will
be retained
in our organs, then this accumulates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and cholesterol that affect
dangerously
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is priceless,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
really
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Which is more important to you: eating for pleasure or eating for health? Why?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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