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It is said that teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure than teenagers in the past.”. Do you agree or disagree? Write an essay about the above topic. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Your writing must be between 180 and 220 words

It is said that teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure than teenagers in the past. ”. Write an essay about the above topic. Your writing must be between 180 and 220 words 8Lq1x
We cannot deny that stress is a problem that can have harmful effects on many people’s lives, especially teenagers. I totally agree with this statement that young people suffer from stress more their older generations and there are various factors in modern society responsible for this. First of all, the development of today's world means that there will be more to learn and cope with. Everybody has things to do so they are not really free, nor do teenagers. They have to attend classes and lectures, have test and projects and also homework. And as children get older, they are more likely to have stress due to the large amount of schoolwork they have to do. They will feel too overwhelmed because they have too much work to deal with. They are lack of time for friends, family, their social relationship and even for themselves! They do not take care of their health properly and this could lead to serious consequences: mental illnesses, autism and even suicide. Secondly, when talking about school, the problem of competitiveness cannot be ignored. Every children grow up with the expectations from their families that they will success in life and have a good career. And if they want to be a successful person in the future, they must do well at schools. That’s why competitiveness is a big problem. Today’s teenagers have to compete with the others all over the world. They will do everything to complete good jobs and for great marks. This, more with parental expectations and pressures to do well at school, will lead to some consequences I’ve mentioned above. Last but not least, our current global problem - Covid 19 is puzzling and unpredictable. Because of the pandemic, we have had to do social distance for many months. Students have to study online and cannot go out like they used to. This somehow also affects them. Teens will feel bored, lonely and depressed during quarantine, which also lead to stress. Though, the whole world is working together to come up with the best solution for the pandemic. Let’s hope for the best. In conclusion, I strongly approve that teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure and there are many factors around us which lead to that problem. Since the stresses teenagers face in modern society are likely to get worse, ignoring it is not an effective option.
We cannot deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that can have harmful effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
more their older generations and there are various factors in modern society responsible for this.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world means that there will be more to learn and cope with. Everybody has things to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not
really
free, nor do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend classes and lectures, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and projects and
also
homework. And as children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they are more likely to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
due to the large amount of schoolwork they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do. They will feel too overwhelmed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have too much work to deal with. They are lack of time for friends, family, their social relationship and even for themselves!
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
do not take care of their health
properly
and this could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to serious consequences: mental illnesses, autism and even suicide.

Secondly
, when talking about school, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of competitiveness cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "child"?
children
grow up with the expectations from their families that they
The word 'success' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will success
in life and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career. And if they want to be a successful person in the future, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do well at schools. That’s why competitiveness is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with the others all over the world. They will do everything to complete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs and for great marks. This, more with parental expectations and pressures to do well at school, will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
consequences I’ve mentioned above.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
is puzzling and unpredictable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the pandemic, we have had to do social distance for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
months. Students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study online and cannot go out like they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to. This somehow
also
affects them. Teens will feel bored, lonely and depressed during quarantine, which
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. Though, the whole world is working together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the best solution for the pandemic.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s hope for the best.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
approve that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
nowadays suffer from more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and pressure and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors around us which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stresses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
face in modern society are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse, ignoring it is not an effective option.
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IELTS essay It is said that teenagers nowadays suffer from more stress and pressure than teenagers in the past. ”. Write an essay about the above topic. Your writing must be between 180 and 220 words

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
398 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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