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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary. v.36

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary. v. 36
Money plays an important role in today' s world as to survive and live according to the needs of the today' s generation. To live the comfortable life and to meet the daily demands one need to have the big salary. therefore I will agree with the statement that big salary is more important than job satisfaction. As we starting growing up, the lesson that we are learning from our teachers and family is that you should study harder to earn good money so that you can help your family, you can have a good life. but as the economy of the most of the countries are decreasing which is resulting in the increase of the prices for the everyday amenities. To meet this demand one should earn good amount of salary. But, when people start following their dreams and passion they enter into the job that give them job satisfaction because they are doing the work they like not the work they are forced to do. But not always these jobs are among those which pays you well. Taking my example I love to draw and paint but if I would have choosen this as my carrier I might not be able to earn so well that I am doing today. These kind of jobs require patience, investment of time and you have to go through many hardships to achieve big in these jobs. Usually by this time people start looking for the alternative and that is where the money come in to play. I would like to conclude that, in my opinion money plays a key role in today’s world and therefore job satisfaction is what is kept aside to earn big salary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world as to survive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
according to the needs of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s generation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the comfortable life and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the daily demands one need to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
salary.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
salary is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

As
Did you mean "we're starting", "we are starting", or "we were starting"?
we starting
growing up, the lesson that we are learning from our teachers and family is that you should study harder to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
your family, you can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
as the economy of the most of the countries are decreasing which is resulting in the increase of the prices for the everyday amenities. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this demand one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of salary.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following their dreams and passion they enter into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are doing the work they like not the work they
are forced
to do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not always these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are among those which pays you well. Taking my example I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to draw and paint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if I would have
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
this as my carrier I might not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well that I am doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require patience, investment of time and you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hardships to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Usually
by this time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
looking for the alternative and
that is
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in to play.

I would like
to conclude
that, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a key role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today’s
world and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction is what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
aside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
salary.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Provide relevant examples if necessary. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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