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Which do you think is better for the economy of a country or area, people saving money or people spending money

Which do you think is better for the economy of a country or area, people saving money or people spending money G3qRj
From my perspective, I believe that the expenditure of citizens is more beneficial to the economy than saving money. First and foremost, spending money makes a huge contribution to making a country prosperous and thriving. Consumption is always considered as the driving force behind the growth of the economy. The high demand for a product or a service means that companies ought to expand their workforce so as to meet that demand. Therefore, more and more companies will be opened and hence, there are more job opportunities. Furthermore, the expenditure of the customer plays a pivotal role in remaining a business. With no consumption, a company will make no profit to continue and then go bankrupt. Having said that, overexpenditure is nothing short of a burden with the economy of a country. If people spend more money than they can make, they may run up many debts, which will provoke a deep recession. In conclusion, people spending is crucial to the economy but people need to spend wisely
From my perspective, I believe that the expenditure of citizens is more beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
than saving money.
First
and foremost, spending money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a huge contribution to making a country prosperous and thriving. Consumption is always considered as the driving force behind the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. The high demand for a product or a service means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
ought to expand their workforce
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
that demand.
Therefore
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
be opened
and
hence
, there are more job opportunities.
Furthermore
, the expenditure of the customer plays a pivotal role in remaining a business. With no consumption, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
no profit to continue and then go bankrupt. Having said that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
overexpenditure
is nothing short of a burden with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of a country. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend more money than they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, they may run up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debts, which will provoke a deep recession.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spending is crucial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to spend
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
wisely
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IELTS essay Which do you think is better for the economy of a country or area, people saving money or people spending money

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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