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Which country will you choose to study abroad ?

Which country will you choose to study abroad? aVReP
There are many countries in the world. And most of them always welcome us to study abroad. Someone will choose Australia, England, Canada and more. But to me, I will choose the country where have the most international students in the world, that is America with more than 50000 international students every year America is in North America. The full name of this country is United States of America. America is one of the biggest countries in the world in the third with 9826675 kilometer square. The capital is Washington and there are many state like: Texas, Kansas, Montana and more. One of them is California and it also the state that I want to study abroad
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world. And most of them always welcome us to study abroad. Someone will choose Australia, England, Canada and more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to me, I will choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where have the most international students in the world,
that is
America with more than 50000 international students every year

America is in North America. The full name of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is United
States of America. America is one of the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world in the third with 9826675 kilometer square. The capital is Washington and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
state like: Texas, Kansas, Montana and more. One of them is California and it
also
the state that I want to study
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
abroad
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IELTS essay Which country will you choose to study abroad?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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