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Which challenge in the list do you think is the most difficult for the university students? Being far away from families, finding time to relax, making new friends. v.1

Which challenge in the list do you think is the most difficult for the university students? Being far away from families, finding time to relax, making new friends. v. 1
With an ever increasing need to invest in scientific innovations, it is argued that the government should be responsible for it and not the private organisations. This essay disagrees with this premise because the autonomous institutes have a better chance of success in this endeavour. This essay first explains the ability of the companies to invest abundantly in these efforts as compared to the government, followed by how competition among private companies can ascertain their success in these efforts. Unlike the political authorities, private firms have enough funds to contribute towards the research and development initiatives. The ruling party of any nation has responsibilities like providing a better education system, improving the health of the public and ensuring the safety and the security of the country. Since organisations do not have these obligations, they can easily allocate a huge amount of fund towards inventions. With no dearth of money, they have a greater chance at getting successful outcomes. For example, a recent survey in Denmark noted that the productivity of the private companies in the research field is higher than the state solely due to the amount of spending done by each party. Additionally, the competitive environment in the private sector can do wonders for the economy. Each firm experimenting with new technologies to better their products can provide various better quality and innovative products in the market. Due to this race of being the best, research gets highest importance and is valued the most. For example, due to the increasing competition among the large cellphone companies, we have so many mobile devices in the market these days with different features and capabilities. In summary, the scientific experimentations can be best performed by the privately-owned firms due to the high availability of monetary resources and the sense of finishing first in the race of innovations. The ministry is overwhelmed with other focus areas which prevents them for accomplishing the same level of success.
With an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
need to invest in scientific innovations, it
is argued
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be responsible for it and not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. This essay disagrees with this premise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the autonomous institutes have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance of success in this
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
. This essay
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the ability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to invest
abundantly
in these efforts as compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, followed by how competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can ascertain their success in these efforts.

Unlike the political authorities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
firms have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to contribute towards the research and development initiatives. The ruling party of any nation has responsibilities like providing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education system, improving the health of the public and ensuring the safety and the security of the country. Since
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
do not have these obligations, they can
easily
allocate a huge amount of fund towards inventions. With no dearth of money, they have a greater chance at getting successful outcomes.
For example
, a recent survey in Denmark noted that the productivity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in the research field is higher than the state
solely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the amount of spending done by each party.

Additionally
, the competitive environment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sector can do wonders for the economy. Each firm experimenting with new technologies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
their products can provide various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
quality and innovative products in the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to this race of being the best, research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
importance and
is valued
the most.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the increasing competition among the large cellphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mobile devices in the market these days with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
features and capabilities.

In summary, the scientific
Possible spelling mistake found.
experimentations can
be best performed by the
privately
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
firms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the high availability of monetary resources and the sense of finishing
first
in the race of innovations. The ministry
is overwhelmed
with other focus areas which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them for accomplishing the same level of success.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Which challenge in the list do you think is the most difficult for the university students? Being far away from families, finding time to relax, making new friends. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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