Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

WHETHER STUDENTS SHOULD DO PART TIME JOBS

WHETHER STUDENTS SHOULD DO PART TIME JOBS LLM78
Learning at school is a period that all students must make all efforts to learn to achieve good results. Therefore, in my opinion, students shouldn’t try to take part in or do part time jobs instead of spending more time on studying. Some people said that learning well at school was easy because they only have to study harder a bit to get good results, However, easy as it heard, it’s only easy for pupils who can understand what the teachers say easily and able to do homework and exams, with the students who are slower, it takes them more times to understand the knowledge and do homework. Thus, Having Tried to do part time jobs will affect their study at school and waste much of their time. Beside, when they only have to study at school and at home, the pupils aren’t capable of knowing the danger of society, the students who both study and do part time jobs need to be decisive and make a right decision quickly due to the danger all around them, some bad guys can take the opportunity to lead them involve in the society’s evils when they do part time jobs. When a student is involved in the society’s evils, they can’t con concentrate on learning that causes them to be bored with study and even they can drop out their study. Contrary to some disadvantages of doing part time jobs. Firstly, it helps pupils to earn money to buy what they need, they don’t need to depend their parents in the future. Secondly, the students can learn different knowledge and skills from society except for what they can learn at school, which will have them a lot for their jobs. In conclusion, on account of the advantages part time jobs can bring to the students, they shouldn’t do it because as a students, they have to study above all.
Learning at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a period that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all efforts to learn to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results.
Therefore
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
shouldn’t try to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in or do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
instead
of spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on studying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said that learning well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
harder a bit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results,
However
, easy as it heard, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
easy for pupils who can understand what the teachers say
easily
and able to do homework and exams, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are slower, it takes them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to understand the knowledge and do homework.
Thus
, Having Tried to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and waste much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Beside, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and at home, the pupils aren’t capable of knowing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
need to be decisive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a right decision
quickly
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
all around them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guys can take the opportunity to lead them involve in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society’s
evils when they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is involved
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society’s
evils, they can’t con concentrate on learning that causes them to
be bored
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and even they can drop out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Contrary to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
pupils to earn money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they need, they don’t need to
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
their parents in the future.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
what they can learn at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which will have them a lot for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
In conclusion
, on account of the advantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can bring to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they shouldn’t do it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
above all
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay WHETHER STUDENTS SHOULD DO PART TIME JOBS

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Some people think history is the most important subject topic and some says science and technology
    Nowadays, subjects like Science & Technologyare crucial because of innovations which canlead to make human lives easier. Somesays that people should focus onHistory, while other folks consider Science & Tech. as main subject. In my opinion, people should study all subject equally as all subjects equ...
  • 6band
    Reoffend is common nowadays. Describe its various reasons and provide effective solutions to it
    The term re-offend refers to the reiterating of a crime after experiencing the negative consequences of it earlier. This practice is becoming a major issue of concern and there could be many reasons underlying which will be discussed thouroghly along with the efective solutions to mitigate this phen...
  • 6.5band
    Reoffend is common nowadays describe reasons and solutions of it
    The term re-offend refers to the reiterating of a crime after experiencing the negative consequences of it earlier. This practice is becoming a major issue of concern and there could be many reasons underlying which will be discussed thoroughly along with the effective solutions to mitigate this phe...
  • 5.5band
    Write a reflection paper what you can learn through the course.
    First of all, I'd like to say thank you to our conscientious instructors for spending time on bringing knowledge as well as the most useful information to our first-year students. Just like everyone in the class, I'm new to surroundings. Leaving high school to be a university student is a new exper...
  • 5.5band
    Nowadays many celebrities is known more for their wealth than their achievements.
    From my perspective, I partially agree with the statement that the fact that celebrities are known for wealth and luxury rather than talent is actually a bad influence on the younger generation. However, there are still some celebrities who are known for their talents and achievements. On the one h...
  • 5band
    Writing about changes in the countryside
    Concerning the matter of positive changes in the countryside, it’s undeniable that the country’s life is developing dramatically in both spiritual and material. The first and foremost change is education. Different from the past, when the previous generations didn’t have the opportunities to go to s...