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whether or not societies rules related to the young to follow are extremely strict

whether or not societies rules related to the young to follow are extremely strict KwYKw
Since the dawn of humanity, all societies were in the demand of considering some rules and laws to make themselves a better place to be lived. Todays, one of the heated controversies among people is that whether or not societies rules related to the young to follow are extremely strict. I, personally, subscribe to the idea that the very rules are not at all strict for young people. The societies' laws and rules provide the young with a good opportunity to live in a safe place. In addition, the very rules help them to broaden their perspective and be success. To begin with, policy is a good way to keep a society away from violence and criminals. In this regard, if a society familiarizes their young dwellers with such an advantage of rules, the young generation will not see these rules as strict ones. I think in this modern life that news and political decisions all around the world spread easily throughout the internet, all people are aware about the reasons that why a rule was adopted, why they must follow it, and so forth. Besides, most societies have referenda to consider inhabits' opinion about a new rule, in fact, people participate to make a new law. All these happening make young people aware about benefits of rules, and they are enthusiastic to follow the rules. It is not to mention that young people are in the head of a society and sometimes they force governments to adopt a new rule. Such an occurrence approves that the rules excepted to be obeyed by young people is not strict, if it was, young generation wouldn’t propel governments to consider a new law. An example can drive this notion home, university students in Iran have recently complained against the weakness of roads rules which have caused many accidents in Iran. They wanted to increase fines in order to decrease driving violations. It is good evidence that regulations are not strict for them. Secondly, as we know young generation are hungry about figuring out merits and demerits in their cultures and countries. Since they aren’t equipped with enough wisdom which can be obtained via various experiences, they will become confused in the lack of societies rules. The very rules and regulations help them to have a proper list to follow in their lives in order to make their future success guarantee. For instance, a rule in Iran is that people have not to joint to gold quest group, a kind of network businesses. This regulation brings the young a priceless opportunity to avoid from a kind of business that languish their lives and economic conditions. If such a rule didn’t exist, young generation would probably engage in such an activity because of their high skill in the using of the internet. After a while they will become frustrated about their failure in the very business. Illegally of such a business in our country have increased the awareness of the young by which they can be more careful about opting for a job. In this line of thought, not only don’t rules annoy young people, but also young generations are improving their knowledge throughout obeying rules of the societies. In summary, with all this taken into account, I do believe that rules that young people must follow in a society is not strict. Regulations guarantee their safety and their future successes.
Since the dawn of humanity, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
were in the demand of considering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
themselves a better place to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
, one of the heated controversies among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
are
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
. I,
personally
, subscribe to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are not at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The societies'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a safe place.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to broaden their perspective and be success.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, policy is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
away from violence and criminals. In this regard, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
familiarizes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
dwellers with such an advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
ones. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in this modern life that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and political decisions all around the world spread
easily
throughout the internet, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware about the reasons that why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
was adopted
, why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
it, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
Besides
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
referenda
to consider inhabits' opinion about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
, in fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. All these happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware about benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, and they are enthusiastic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. It is not to mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in the head of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
. Such an occurrence approves that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
excepted to
be obeyed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
, if it was,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation wouldn’t propel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
. An example can drive this notion home, university students in Iran have recently complained against the weakness of roads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
which have caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accidents in Iran. They wanted to increase fines in order to decrease driving violations. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
for them.

Secondly
, as we know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation are hungry about figuring out merits and demerits in their cultures and countries. Since they aren’t equipped with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wisdom which can
be obtained
via various experiences, they will become confused in the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a proper list to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their future success guarantee.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
in Iran is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not to joint to gold quest group, a kind of network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regulation
brings the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
a priceless opportunity to avoid from a kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
that languish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and economic conditions. If such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
didn’t exist,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation would
probably
engage in such an activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in the using of the internet.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
a while they will become frustrated about their failure in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Illegally
of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in our country have increased the awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
by which they can be more careful about opting for a job. In this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
don’t
Did you mean "rule"?
rules
annoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations are improving their knowledge throughout obeying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of the societies.

In summary, with all this taken into account, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Regulations
guarantee their safety and their future successes.
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IELTS essay whether or not societies rules related to the young to follow are extremely strict

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
567 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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