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declining of population of sea otters

declining of population of sea otters 2bPnx
The passage and the lecture both discuss the reason of quickly declining in the numbers of sea otters in that has a significant effect on region's costal ecosystem. Both explain two dominated explanation about decrease in population of them, environmental pollution and predators. The passage claim that the pollution explain this event more convincingly in comparison to attack by predators and give three reason for this. Even though, the lecture denies all those reason and states that the reason of attacking by predators is more conceivable. First, according to passage, existence of industrial chemical materials like oil rigs along the Alaskan cost, is an important evidence for declining of this kind of animal by pollution of industrial factories. In contrast, the lecture denies this assertion by stating that there were not any dead sea otters along this coast, so it is not possible pollution caused death of this animal. While declining in population of this animal without any evidences of their dead bodies can be explained more conceivable. Second, the reading points out that pollution explanation is more likely true because of death some other mammals like seals and sea lions. It can be explained by universally pollution effects on the entire ecosystem. But, the lecture state that orcas changed their diet from whale to small mammals because of decreasing the numbers of whale causing by human hunter. So, they ate small mammals like seals and sea lions besides sea otters in order to survive. Third, the reading says that irregular pattern of declining them could happen by environmental factors like ocean currents. By contrast, the lecture contends that this uneven pattern can be justified better by large size of orcas. In fact, they weren’t able to pass thorough shallow water and rocky place because of their large size. As the shallow water and rocky place are the location with stable sea otters' population, considering reason of decrease in the number of sea otter is more reasonable and conceivable.
The passage and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
both discuss the
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reason
of
quickly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
declining
in the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otters in that has a significant effect on region's
Possible spelling mistake found.
costal
ecosystem. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
two dominated explanation about decrease in population of them, environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and predators. The passage claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
more
convincingly
in comparison
to attack by predators and give three
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reason
for this.
Even though
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
denies all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and states that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of attacking by predators is more conceivable.

First
, according to passage, existence of industrial chemical materials like oil rigs along the Alaskan cost, is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
evidence for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
declining
of this kind of animal by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of industrial factories.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
denies this assertion by stating that there were not any dead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otters along this coast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
caused death of this animal.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
declining
in population of this animal without any evidences of their dead bodies can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
more conceivable.

Second, the reading points out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
explanation is more likely true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of death
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other mammals like seals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
lions. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by
universally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
effects on the entire ecosystem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
state that orcas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their diet from whale to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
mammals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of decreasing the numbers of whale causing by human hunter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they ate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
mammals like seals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
lions
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otters in order to survive.

Third, the reading says that irregular pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
declining
them could happen by environmental factors like ocean currents. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lecture
contends that this uneven pattern can
be justified
better by large size of orcas. In fact, they weren’t able to pass thorough shallow water and rocky place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their large size. As the shallow water and rocky place are the location with stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otters' population, considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of decrease in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
otter is more reasonable and conceivable.
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IELTS essay declining of population of sea otters

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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