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agree or disagree? today young people have better abilities to make decisions than pas young people

agree or disagree? today young people have better abilities to make decisions than pas young people NrWBW
As far as prosperous life is concerned, the ability of making decisions is a vital factor. As we know youngs live in their prime of time in which they can make their future flourishing or languishing depend on their talent in making decision. When the issue is comparison between young people in the past and now to such a power, some people think that past youngs had less deciding ability because of their dependence to parents. I, as a one, subscribe to this idea. In my opinion, today youngs are more decisive persons due to the change of parents approach and education system in societies. In first place, primary element which has great impact in children is the method of upbringing used for them. It is crystal clear that, nowadays, parents are more aware about their behaviors' effects on their children's characteristics thanks to psychologists' attempts. In the past, parents were extremely strict, I mean they always forced children to do what they wanted. Today, all of us, parents aren't an exception at all, such a behavior harm children's self-confidence. They cannot rely on themselves to decide about their own lives. In contrast, if youngs grew in a productive atmosphere in which they were given not only responsibility but also opportunity to determine their own ways, they would improve their decision skills. Secondly, it is not to mention that when we talk about a specific property like deciding ability, we must consider many other influential factors. For instance, activities like sports and social cooperation are some of the effective elements in making decisions. If people put themselves in the society and communicate with many individuals, their perspective would be improved. These days, educational system has been altered a lot in comparison to the past one. Schools have some subsidiary classes and projects besides education by which all students participate in different activities. Such a priceless condition bring them with a good chance to learn various skills. On top of this, they broaden their point of view by monitoring other horizons. By contrast, unfortunately, past students educate in schools in which they only learn some lessons like physic, mathematic and so forth. By keeping this big alteration in educational system in mind, we can say with the utmost confidence that today youngs' abilities are being effectively enhanced owing to above-mentioned participation. In summary, by taking all of these into account, in my opinion the power of today youngs to make decisions is considerably incomparable with ones in the past. Who in their right mind can deny profitable rule of psychology awareness among both people and societies in having more decisive youngs?
As far as prosperous life
is concerned
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
is a vital factor. As we know
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their prime of time in which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future flourishing or languishing depend on their talent in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. When the issue is comparison between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to such a power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs had
less deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their dependence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. I, as a one, subscribe to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
are more decisive persons due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
approach and education system in societies.

In
first
place, primary element which has great impact in children is the method of upbringing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for them. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more aware about their behaviors' effects on their children's characteristics thanks to psychologists' attempts. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
extremely
strict, I mean they always forced children to do what they wanted.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
, all of us,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
aren't an exception at all, such a behavior harm children's self-confidence. They cannot rely on themselves to decide about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In contrast
, if
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
grew in a productive atmosphere in which they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
opportunity to determine their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Secondly
, it is not to mention that when we talk about a specific property like deciding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other influential factors.
For instance
, activities like sports and social cooperation are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
effective elements in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put themselves in the society and communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals, their perspective would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. These days, educational system has
been altered
a lot
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
one. Schools have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subsidiary classes and projects
besides
education by which all students participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities. Such a priceless condition bring them with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to learn various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. On top of this, they broaden their point of view by monitoring other horizons. By contrast, unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
students educate in schools in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lessons like physic, mathematic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. By keeping this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
alteration in educational system in mind, we can say with the utmost confidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
are being
effectively
enhanced owing to above-mentioned participation.

In summary, by taking all of these into account, in my opinion the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
is
considerably
incomparable with ones in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Who in their right mind can deny profitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of psychology awareness among both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and societies in having more decisive
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
?
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IELTS essay agree or disagree? today young people have better abilities to make decisions than pas young people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
440 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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