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is it significant to be known about events happening all around the world?

is it significant to be known about events happening all around the world? g58mA
It goes without saying that in this progressive and sophisticated world where we live, human beings are exposed to different source of news and can completely be aware of the events occurring in every corner of the globe. In this regard, while some people hold the opinion that it is significant to be known about events happening all around the world, others stand at the other side of the continuum, believing that knowing about the events that are unlikely to affect one's daily life is not necessary and important. As far as I am concerned, I assume that becoming aware of the different events around the world is highly important even if they do not overshadow one's life. The reasons to substantiate my point of view are elaborated upon hereunder. To begin with, knowing what is happening around the world will help people of each community to take advantage of the consequences of the events. To be more specific, there might be some events around the world that do not affect a society's current status; however, at some points in time, something similar might happen to the people of the society. Under such a circumstance, people have experience to draw reasonable conclusions and prevent some catastrophic events to happen for them. An example can drive this notion home. Last year, the Iranian government has witness some banning and restriction that the American government has posed on various European country. Although at that time, Iranian had not been affected by the restriction, they anticipated and envisioned what to do in a similar situation. As a result, being able to predict this occurrence, help the Iranian government to prevent any further sanction or difficulties being imposed in their people. Moreover, being able to know about different events around the world, people can become up-to-date and they can discuss different situations to keep pace with the rest of the societies who are well-aware of various events. To put it in other words, when people are enthusiastic to be aware of various news and events in the world, they become up-to-date about the most recent occurrences all around the world. As a result, it will empower and equip them with the knowledge in order to be negotiated with other people. As an illustration, becoming aware of different political decisions in various foreign countries, not only did improve my political information, but also gave me the opportunity to be confident enough to negotiate my understandings and analysis with others. Whenever I am in a meeting or any kinds of other assembly that negotiate the most recent happenings around the world, I am capable of nonstop talking and negotiating. If I considered those events that were merely related to my current life status, I would not be able to dispute and negotiate in different circles of people. In conclusion, having considered the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I do believe that it is imperative to be known about the events happening in different regions of the world and it is not even important that whether those events will affect one's life or not. People can gain experience if they become aware of different occurrences, and moreover, they can become up-to-date and negotiate various events in different occasions.
It goes without saying that in this progressive and sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, human beings
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
source of news and can completely be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
occurring in every corner of the globe. In this regard, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion that it is significant to
be known
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, others stand at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the continuum, believing that knowing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
that are unlikely to affect one's daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not necessary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. As far as I
am concerned
, I assume that becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
even if they do not overshadow one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The reasons to substantiate my point of view
are elaborated
upon hereunder.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, knowing what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of each community to take advantage of the consequences of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. To be more specific, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that do not affect a society's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status;
however
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points in time, something similar might happen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the society. Under such a circumstance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have experience to draw reasonable conclusions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
catastrophic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to happen for them. An example can drive this notion home. Last year, the Iranian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has witness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
banning and restriction that the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has posed on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
European country. Although at that time, Iranian had not been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the restriction, they anticipated and envisioned what to do in a similar situation.
As a result
, being able to predict this occurrence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the Iranian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any
further
sanction or difficulties
being imposed
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Moreover
, being able to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
up-to-date and
they can discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
situations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the rest of the societies who are well-aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. To put it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enthusiastic to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
up-to-date about the most recent occurrences all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
As a result
, it will empower and equip them with the knowledge in order to
be negotiated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As an illustration, becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
political decisions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
foreign countries, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my political information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gave me the opportunity to be confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiate
my understandings and analysis with others. Whenever I am in a meeting or any kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
assembly that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiate
the most recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happenings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, I am capable of nonstop talking and negotiating. If I considered those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
that were
merely
related to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
status, I would not be able to dispute and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
circles of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, having considered the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I do believe that it is imperative to
be known
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and it is not even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that whether those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
will affect one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can gain experience if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aware
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
occurrences, and
moreover
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
up-to-date and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negotiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
occasions.
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IELTS essay is it significant to be known about events happening all around the world?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
542 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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