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whether home schooling is better than a formal education

whether home schooling is better than a formal education gDNg3
People have different opinions of whether home schooling is better than a formal education / regular schooling. While I admit that regular schooling enhances a child’s social skills, in my opinion, home schooling up to a certain age is beneficial in some other aspects. In this essay, I will discuss the plus points of both approaches and share my view. To begin with, children acquire much more academic knowledge when they attend a regular school. The traditional education system promotes a balanced curriculum, covering other non-academic areas including arts, music, sports and so on. As result, children are guided to discover their unique talents, which parents could then continue to nurture. Furthermore, learning in a classroom enables children to interact with their classmates, and at the same time, understand the importance of teamwork. In my opinion, these group activities will shape their personality / character and teach them to respect and care for others as they grow up. On the other hand, home-schooling might be beneficial in the earlier stage as parents could tailor the curriculums and emphasise on the areas that their child is weak in. For example, one child might face difficulties in math while most of their classmates find writing skills challenging. The home schooling system does not require slow learners to keep up pace with academically bright students. In addition, learning at home during the earlier stages will protect children from potentially negative influences at school. In conclusion, I believe that both methods possess their own advantages and parents should take into account their child’s personality when making the choices. As for myself, I would first teach my children at home and only send them to school around the age of 10.
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People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions of whether home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is better than a formal education / regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
. While I admit that regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
enhances a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, in my opinion, home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
up to a certain age is beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects. In this essay, I will discuss the plus points of both approaches and share my view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
acquire much more academic knowledge when they attend a regular school. The traditional education system promotes a balanced curriculum, covering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
non-academic areas including arts, music, sports and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. As result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are guided
to discover their unique talents, which parents could then continue to nurture.
Furthermore
, learning in a classroom enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to interact with their classmates, and at the same time, understand the importance of teamwork. In my opinion, these group activities will shape their personality / character and teach them to respect and care for others as they grow up.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, home-schooling might be beneficial in the earlier stage as parents could tailor the curriculums and
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
on the areas that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is weak in.
For example
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
might face difficulties in math while most of their classmates find writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
challenging. The home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
system does not require slow learners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up pace with
academically
bright students.
In addition
, learning at home during the earlier stages will protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences at school.

In conclusion
, I believe that both methods possess their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and parents should take into account their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
personality when making the choices. As for myself, I would
first
teach my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to school around the age of 10.
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IELTS essay whether home schooling is better than a formal education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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