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Whether foreign language should be part of curriculum in the school. Do you agree or disagree ?

Whether foreign language should be part of curriculum in the school. Bayjm
Education play a vital role in every student’s life which decide the career of student and ultimately of country. Some people believe that foreign language should be part of study in the school and others disagree with this given statement. I am strongly agree with this given declaration and I will discuss about my opinion. To embark, with education is most important thing for people. Without knowledge they are not able to communicate with other people so for this reason the government should make it a rule that every school should also give important to the foreign language and put one or two lectures on foreign languages per week. For example according to data in Gujarat more than 40% of government schools arrange lectures on foreign language and free to them how to communicate with other foreigners in their language. Furthermore there are more advantages for adding a foreign language in academic to those who are planning to migrate abroad for their higher education. Moreover education as a transcendent national barriers and enhance its scope globally. In so just general learning a foreign language could help to enhance their area of knowledge it also decrease fence of communication at international level. For instance in Japan country, their citizens and parents should give knowledge and teach their kids about different foreign languages and enhance their communication skills. To sum up, foreign language play most important part in education and increase communication skills and knowledge about other languages of students. It is very helpful in education at international level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
a vital role in every student’s life which decide the career of student and
ultimately
of country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should be part of study in the school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. I am
strongly
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
declaration and I will
Did you mean simply "discuss my"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about my
opinion.

To embark, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Without
The comma is probably missing here: "knowledge, they".
knowledge they
are not able to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for this reason
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that every school should
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and put one or two lectures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
per week.
For example
according to data in Gujarat more than 40% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
schools arrange lectures on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and free to them how to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
foreigners in their language.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
there are more advantages for adding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in academic to those who are planning to migrate abroad for their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a transcendent national barriers and enhance its scope globally. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
general learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance their area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
it
also
Did you mean "decreases"?
decrease
fence of communication at international level.
For instance
in Japan country, their citizens and parents should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and teach their kids about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and enhance their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
play most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and increase communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
of students. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at international level.
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IELTS essay Whether foreign language should be part of curriculum in the school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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