Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Children making a choice for their tasks

Children making a choice for their tasks Lw1eG
When it comes to parenting, just like any other social concept, there are various schools of thought with different and sometimes opposing perspectives. One of these challenging subjects is about children and their decision-making. There is a group believing that if children were left free to make their own choices in their routine affairs, the end result would be a society of selfish individuals, while opponents of this viewpoint are insisting on the importance of the fact that children should be taught how to make decisions on their own. In this essay, these viewpoints will be examined. According to some methods that used to be utilized to raise children, it is the duty of parents to help their children with their routine tasks and to make the necessary decisions for them. Although it might sound outdated time to some extent, compared to modern parenting styles, the rationale behind this belief is the notion that children who have been given too much freedom of choice may acquire some unsavory traits later on in their personal and social life; The society found based on these individuals could lack altruistic behavior, and it is prone to be lead to the extremes of the individualism which is nothing but chaos. On the other hand, a group of parents are against this method and firmly defend the right of children for making their own decisions. After all, family is the first and one of the most essential social agencies responsible for rearing and training individuals for socializing, and one might argue that for one to choose among a diversity of choices is a vital skill to be mastered in life and to learn this nowhere is better than home. Furthermore in an imaginary scenario, if children are taught the basic rules of decision making, they can practice this valuable skill and hone it through time with the help of their teachers and peers. Finally, based on the aforementioned conclusions of both perspectives, while freedom of choice for children could sound irresponsible at first glance, with deeper scrutiny, enough evidence against it will emerge; Teaching youngsters of the valuable skill of decision-making and showing them how to do it whilst respecting other's boundaries and benefits seems like a sound and promising lesson.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to parenting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like any other social concept, there are various schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
opposing perspectives. One of these challenging subjects is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their decision-making. There is a group believing that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in their routine affairs, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result would be a society of selfish individuals, while opponents of this viewpoint are insisting on the importance of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. In this essay, these viewpoints will
be examined
.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be utilized
to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it is the duty of parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with their routine tasks and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for them. Although it might sound outdated time to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, compared to modern parenting styles, the rationale behind this belief is the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
too much freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
may acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unsavory traits later on in their personal and social life; The society found based on these individuals could lack altruistic behavior, and it is prone to be lead to the extremes of the individualism which is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
chaos.

On the other hand
, a group of parents
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
against this method and
firmly
defend the right of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
After all
, family is the
first
and one of the most essential social agencies responsible for rearing and training individuals for socializing, and one might argue that for one to choose among a diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
is a vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to
be mastered
in life and to learn this nowhere is better than home.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
in an imaginary scenario, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, they can practice this valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and hone it through time with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their teachers and peers.

Finally
, based on the aforementioned conclusions of both perspectives, while freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could sound irresponsible at
first
glance, with deeper scrutiny,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
evidence against it will emerge; Teaching youngsters of the valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of decision-making and showing them how to do it whilst respecting other's boundaries and benefits seems like a sound and promising lesson.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Children making a choice for their tasks

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts