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Where do you see your future in 5 years time?

Where do you see your future in 5 years time? dqL9r
Before entering to Presidential school, I was one of the active students in my previous school and I used to dream about being an English teacher. I was the leader of "Community of youth" and organisation of Kamalak. I have achievements from art and other subjects, certificates that are given to active students. I had never thought about studying abroad, because I used to think it was not for me and my family could not afford to that. But after entering to Presidential school, my mind changed. I have more energy than that time and I have facilities which I needed. I have ĺoads of plans for the future. One of them to take Ielts 7. 5+. The next is to study at the top and prestigious universities in the world and learn their education system, working skills. I want to develop the field of education in small villages, too. It is not important to earn money or well-paid jobs for me, the essential thing is to help people, change their lifestyle a little bit, and give them hope to live better than ever and so on. I am planning to study in the field of business-management and economics. For that I am learning my A level subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, Computer Science. I want to be a leader of company and run my business. The next couple of decades will be "my decades". If God wants, I will definitely create my own brand products. I have lots of goals for my future, I hope I will work on another ambitions again while reaching others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
entering to Presidential school, I was one of the active students in my previous school and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to dream about being an English teacher. I was the leader of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Community of youth
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kamalak
. I have achievements from art and other subjects, certificates that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to active students.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
had never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about studying abroad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it was not for me and my family could not afford to that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after entering to Presidential school, my mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. I have more energy than that time and I have facilities which I needed. I have
Possible spelling mistake found.
ĺoads
of plans for the future. One of them to take
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ielts
7. 5+. The
next
is to study at the top and prestigious universities in the world and learn their education system, working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I want to develop the field of education in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages, too. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to earn money or well-paid jobs for me, the essential thing is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
, and give them hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better than ever and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I am planning to study in the field of business-management and economics. For that I am learning my A level subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, Computer Science. I want to be a leader of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and run my business. The
next
couple of decades will be
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
my decades
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. If God wants, I will definitely create my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
brand products.

I have lots of goals for my future, I hope I will work on another ambitions again while reaching others
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IELTS essay Where do you see your future in 5 years time?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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