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When travelling, some people prefer to reach the destination directly. Someothers prefer to stop and look around the scenery along the way. What kindof way of travelling do you think is better and why? v.2

When travelling, some people prefer to reach the destination directly. Someothers prefer to stop and look around the scenery along the way. What kindof way of travelling do you think is better and why? v. 2
Some people believe that the advancement of technology will bring a paperless environment such as reading news or magazine articles on the electronic device. I fully agree with this point of view. This essay will highlight the reason that physical newspapers and magazines will be replaced by digital ones in the future. To begin with, the main reason for reading e-books is its convenience. This is because the electronics such as cell phones and laptops are generally portable size and reasonable weight to carry, hence People can easily access to the information regardless of time and place. In fact, a growing number of people have read e-books, instead of papers since the 2000s. It meant that nowadays, life in a paperless environment is in an upward trend. As the recent survey from the New York Times reported, over 65 percent of the survey candidates answered that they favor reading on the device over paper because of its convenience. On top of that, another reason is that people can save resources by using electronics. Unfortunately, the human being has cut a lot of trees for making papers, and it takes 20 - 50 years for a newly planted to grow large enough to be used. If people read digital newspapers or magazines, it will be one of the ways to reduce the waste of using natural resources such as trees. From my perspective, I think that publishing books will be an unnecessary waste in the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that the paperless life will bring benefits like the convenience in reading and the preservation of environments. Therefore, I believe that being replaced by digital newspapers and magazines will have a positive impact on future society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the advancement of technology will bring a paperless environment such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
news or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
articles on the electronic device. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view. This essay will highlight the reason that physical newspapers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
will
be replaced
by digital ones in the future.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books is its convenience. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the electronics such as cell phones and laptops are
generally
portable size and reasonable weight to carry,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
access to the information regardless of time and place. In fact, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have read e-books,
instead
of papers since the 2000s. It meant that nowadays, life in a paperless environment is in an upward trend. As the recent survey from the New York Times reported, over 65 percent of the survey candidates answered that they favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
on the device over paper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its convenience.

On top of that
, another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save resources by using electronics. Unfortunately, the human being has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trees for making papers, and it takes
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
20 - 50
years for a
newly
planted to grow large
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read digital newspapers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
, it will be one of the ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the waste of using natural resources such as trees. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that publishing books will be an unnecessary waste in the future.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the paperless life will bring benefits like the convenience in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and the preservation of environments.
Therefore
, I believe that
being replaced
by digital newspapers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on future society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay When travelling, some people prefer to reach the destination directly. Someothers prefer to stop and look around the scenery along the way. What kindof way of travelling do you think is better and why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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