Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

“When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success. ” Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position. v.4

“When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success. ” with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position. v. 4
Today's world is reeling under the effects of hate crimes and cross-country terrorized. It is often believed that events such as intercontinental sports meet will help to propagate the message of peace and brotherhood in the world. I completely agree with this view and the essay will discuss my arguments in the upcoming paragraphs. Any sport, if played with the right enthusiasm, has several advantages for the society. Firstly, it helps to instill the vigour of nationalism in each human being. Both the players and spectators get emotionally stirred by a feeling of pride in one's own country. Playing of the respective national anthems before any intercontinental sporting event is an example to prove this point. Secondly, we cannot refute the fact that it gives immense joy when the spirit of the game overcomes the petty barriers of countries and cultures because national teams often have players from different ethnicities and backgrounds. It helps to spread the message of oneness and unity in diversity. Furthermore, international sports meet help to ease tension between warring countries as sports often serves as a binding factor between them. To illustrate, passion for a cricket is a common trend which binds the neighbouring countries India and Pakistan. International one day games and test matches show us that the players of both countries are quite friendly and amicable off the field. It helps to spread the feeling of brotherhood of mutual admiration. It is not unusual to see the players congratulating each other or laughing at a joke. It teaches us to respect each individual for his virtues, regardless of the country political disputes. Thus, these sports meet between different countries show us that the human spirit and regard for humanity is above political issues and tensions. In conclusion, after analysing all the aspects of the statement, it is not hard to see that sports played at international level helps in easing tensions between nations and helps to spread the message of tolerance, peace and brotherhood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's world is reeling under the effects of hate crimes and cross-country terrorized. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as intercontinental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to propagate the message of peace and brotherhood in the world. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and the essay will discuss my arguments in the upcoming paragraphs.

Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, if played with the right enthusiasm, has several advantages for the society.
Firstly
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to instill the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigour
of nationalism in each human being. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and spectators
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
emotionally
stirred by a feeling of pride in one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Playing of the respective national anthems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any intercontinental sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is an example to prove this point.
Secondly
, we cannot refute the fact that it gives immense joy when the spirit of the game overcomes the petty barriers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
national teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ethnicities and backgrounds. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to spread the message of oneness and unity in diversity.

Furthermore
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
tension between warring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
serves as a binding factor between them. To illustrate, passion for a cricket is a common trend which binds the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
India and Pakistan. International one day games and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
matches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are quite friendly and amicable off the field. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to spread the feeling of brotherhood of mutual admiration. It is not unusual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
congratulating each other or laughing at a joke.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
teaches us to respect each individual for his virtues, regardless of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
political disputes.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us that the human spirit and regard for humanity is above political issues and tensions.

In conclusion
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
all the aspects of the statement, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
played at international level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in easing tensions between nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to spread the message of tolerance, peace and brotherhood.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay “When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success. ” with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts