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TPO 18- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

TPO 18- Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Environmentalists Hold varying opinions on how to approach the ever deteriorating ecosystem problem. Some consider raising the rate of gas is the most efficient way to remedy this environmental catastrophe. I, however, disagree that raising fuel cost on a global scale would help in alleviating the problem and this essay addresses The reasons behind my position. One reason to support my opinion is that by raising the price of fuel, products that depend on any kind of shipping either boy air, land or sea will witness is skyrocketing increase in prices also. Unfortunately, the cons would outweigh the pros if this happens, and economy will suffer deeply and many people won’t be able to afford basic life necessities. Such as electricity, using public transportation and many essential commodities. Furthermore, economy Will witness a downfall in many domains. Moreover, this in turn will repulse people from even considering a positive attitude toward the environmental problem. Another significant reason in favour of my argument is that researchers found that the fundamental reason behind the exacerbation of the environmental condition predominately due to industrial waste and exhausted toxic fumes from factories. Thus the effort exerted in raising the fuel rate is somehow futile. Therefore, any negative alteration made on the price of petroleum derivatives won't be met with Appreciation from the masses. To sum up, raising the fuel price might bring about some trivial benefits like raising peoples fitness, decreasing the reliance on fuel powered Vehicles and slight reduction of CO2 emissions, but it won’t be a long-term viable solution for the problem at hand.
Environmentalists Hold varying opinions on how to approach the ever deteriorating ecosystem problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
the rate of gas is the most efficient way to remedy this environmental catastrophe. I,
however
, disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
cost on a global scale would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in alleviating the problem and this essay addresses The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind my position.

One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to support my opinion is that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, products that depend on any kind of shipping either boy air, land or sea will witness is skyrocketing increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
also
. Unfortunately, the cons would outweigh the pros if this happens, and economy will suffer
deeply
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
won’t be able to afford basic life necessities. Such as electricity, using public transportation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential commodities.
Furthermore
, economy Will witness a downfall in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
domains.
Moreover
, this in turn will repulse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from even considering a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude toward the environmental problem.

Another significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my argument is that researchers found that the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind the exacerbation of the environmental condition
predominately
due to industrial waste and exhausted toxic fumes from factories.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the effort exerted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
rate is somehow futile.
Therefore
, any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
alteration made on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of petroleum derivatives won't
be met
with Appreciation from the masses.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
might bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trivial benefits like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
peoples fitness, decreasing the reliance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
powered Vehicles and slight reduction of CO2 emissions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it won’t be a long-term viable solution for the problem at hand.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 18- Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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