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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.7

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. v. 7
Fundamental education is one of the primary pillars for any pupil to attain success in their lives. It is a highly discussed topic about whether a child’s education should undergo at home or school. While some prefer homeschool as it is cost-effective, others support the traditional way of education since that is more disciplined. In this essay, I will review both sides of the views before my own perspective that the conventional route of education is superior. The cogent reason why other people choose homeschool is that it is economic. Since both partners could teach their children about the elementary education for a certain year at home, they would not need any school fees. For example, in Japan, a couple saved almost 10 thousand dollars by teaching their kids at home before placing them in junior high school. Thus, home school is an incredible way, when parents are keen to save money. On the other hand, the greatest reason why some people, including me, prefer a traditional way of education is that it is well-structured. To understand, almost all formal academic bodies usually follow a systematic methodology such as theory lectures, and sometimes viva as well for training. To illustrate, an average student at a regular school needs to go through about 6-8 lectures and homework. Therefore, if a structured education is essential, then a regular schooling is the superior way to achieve the same. To conclude, pupils are more likely to become successful if they are taught well in their academics. This essay explained why some people are inclined towards homeschooling due to its cost, others opt for a day schooling as it is more structured. In my opinion, due to its structured way of teaching, traditional schools are significantly superior compared to teaching at home.
Fundamental
education
is one of the primary pillars for any pupil to attain success in their
lives
. It is a
highly
discussed topic about whether a child’s
education
should undergo at home or
school
. While
some
prefer homeschool as it
is cost
-effective, others support the traditional way of
education
since
that is
more disciplined. In this essay, I will review both sides of the views
before
my
own
perspective that the conventional route of
education
is superior.

The cogent reason why
other
people
choose
homeschool
is that it is economic. Since both partners could teach their children about the elementary
education
for a certain year at home, they would not need any
school
fees.
For example
, in Japan, a couple saved almost 10 thousand dollars by teaching their kids at home
before
placing them in junior high
school
.
Thus
, home
school
is an incredible way, when parents are keen to save money.

On the
other
hand, the greatest reason why
some
people
, including me, prefer a traditional way of
education
is that it is well-structured. To understand, almost all formal academic bodies
usually
follow a systematic methodology such as theory lectures, and
sometimes
viva
as well
for training. To illustrate, an average student at a regular
school
needs to go through about 6-8 lectures and homework.
Therefore
, if a structured
education
is essential, then a regular schooling is the superior way to achieve the same.

To conclude
, pupils are more likely to become successful if they
are taught
well in their academics. This essay
explained
why
some
people
are inclined
towards homeschooling due to its cost, others opt for a day schooling as it is more structured. In my opinion, due to its structured way of teaching, traditional
schools
are
significantly
superior compared to teaching at home.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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